While you're there he'll check your muffler bearings as well . . . .
Buy a vegan a Venus Fly Trap....
Show them even plants think they're wrong!
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Doctors told my wife that I was going to be a vegetable after my accident. If anyone says they're vegan, I ask them when they became cannibals, Like they like to eat my brothers?
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
gulliver (12-03-18)
Last edited by irritant; 12-03-18 at 06:20 AM.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
The word nun is just the letter n doing a forward roll....
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I went to Dan Murphys Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jim Beam and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Jim Beam before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
I was walking through a Saudi Arabian market when I saw a mate of mine getting his hand stitched back on.
I said, "Aaaah, I see you won your appeal!"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
SCHOOL-1960 vs. 2015
Scenario :
Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.
1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2015 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.
Scenario :
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1960 - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2015 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD - result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.
Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2015 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.
Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1960 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.
2015- Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.
Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Cracker night, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp's nest.
1960 - Wasps die.
2015- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again.
Scenario :
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.
1960 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing footie. No damage done.
2015 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
That's not a joke Tiny, every word of it is true! You should be soundly whipped! Oooops! Now I'm going to be arrested for assault!
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
gulliver (14-03-18)
Not arrested but warned. PLEASE, keep comments OUT of this thread. Sometimes they can be a joke in themselves and they may be OK...Originally Posted by lsemmens
That's not a joke Tiny, every word of it is true! You should be soundly whipped! Oooops! Now I'm going to be arrested for assault!
Otherwise the thread will be overrun.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
From Hillary Clinton's autobiography,
"The Truth Will Always Prevail"
To be released soon ....
"Some years ago, nearing dinner time at the White House, our regular
cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice. He
wasn't the smartest looking guy, in fact he seemed a bit dirty. Bill voiced
his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best
they could do on such short notice.
Just before the meal, Bill noticed the cook sticking his finger in the
soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief Of Staff, but he was
assured that many Chefs did that.
Dinner went okay, although Bill thought that the soup tasted a little
funny. By the time dessert came, he started to have stomach cramps and
nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had
to excuse himself. By now, he was desperately ill with violent cramps
and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened.
As he unzipped his trousers and ran in he realized to his horror that he
had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was about to pass
out, this naive girl bent over him and heard President Clinton whisper
in a barely audible voice:
"Sack my cook".
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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