While going through my deceased father in laws shed, I came across a folder of pages of jokes from the 1970's. He was a Telecom (Telstra) technician and I am pretty sure they didn't do much work.
They are mainly racist and sexist of course being from the 70's. Examples :
How do you get a black man out of a tree in Alabama ? Cut the rope.
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza ? Pizzas dont scream when they get put in the oven.
How do you know when a female bartender is pissed off with you ? There's a string hanging out of your bloody Mary.
I can either upload the (15) pages, or if someone wants a copy, they can upload individual jokes themselves to this thread as I am not a regular in it.
We're not supposed to comment in this thread but hey I'll take the rap.Originally Posted by admin
Post the 15 pages if you like or send to me & I'll post them up a page a week & credit to your father in law so everyone knows where they came from.
Last edited by Tiny; 14-03-18 at 06:32 PM.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
admin (15-03-18)
Prom - In the United States, a promenade dance, most commonly called a prom, is a semi-formal dance or gathering of high school students. This event is typically held near the end of the senior year.
went to the chemist and said "Good morning, do you have anything for a complete loss of voice?".
He said "Good morning sir, and how can I help you today?".
Just been told by the guy who works at Subway that their meat is killed the traditional Islamic way.
How the f*ck do they put a backpack on a chicken???
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Doctor: "Don't eat anything fatty."
Me: "Can I eat sugar instead?"
Doctor: "NO fatty, don't eat ANYTHING....jeez"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Friday funnies with Admins Father-in-Law.
Admins Father-in-Law's Jokes Page 1;
I take no responsibility for these offerings, just have a laugh or change the channel. lol.
Did you hear about the Archaeologist who found an old tampon?
He couldn't tell what period it was from.
What's green & smells of pork?
Kermit's finger.
Why did god give women legs?
So that they don't leave snail trails.
What do you get when you cross a prostitute with a can of Aerogard?
A f#cking good weekend.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with an owl?
A cock that will stay up all night.
What do you get when you cross a prostitute with a monkey?
A bloody good screw that does it for peanuts.
What's the definition of a virgin?
In England any girl under 10, in Greece any child under 10, in Arabia any Camel that can outrun an Arab.
Why does Jack Thompson wank?
For that screw when he doesn't feel like a screw.
Why is it best to do a 69'er upside down?
Because the taste buds are on the top of your tongue.
What's worse than having a dead dog on your piano?
Having an infected pussy on your organ.
Would you like a job that involves sex & travel?
Well...F#ck off!
What animal has a c#nt halfway up it's back?
A police horse.
What's the difference between a Police car & a pair of knickers?
You can only fit one c#nt in a pair of knickers.
What does the brown spot on an Irishman's head represent?
That he's down to a quart of shit.
Why don't the Irish have haemorrhoids?
Because they're all perfect arseholes.
Did you here about the Female Irish parachutist?
She pulled the wrong cord & bled to death.
What does an aboriginal call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
How do you satisfy a pommie nymphomaniac?
Marry her.
What do you get when you cross a gorilla with an Irishman?
A retarded ape.
How do you drown an Italian?
Pull the chain while he's drinking.
Last edited by Tiny; 16-03-18 at 04:28 PM.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Zodiac signs can reveal a lot about someones state of mind.
For instance, if you believe in them you're a f*cking moron.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
MORE racism!!!!
Has anyone else noticed that the Miss Universe beauty pageant has only ever been won by women from Earth?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
An American and his Czechoslovakian friend were out walking in the forest. They rounded a corner and right in front of them stood a giant grizzly bear. Before they could make a move, the bear jumped up and ate the European.
The American turned and ran. He pulled out his cell phone and called the local forest ranger. In no time, an experienced ranger was upon the scene and they headed back to find the man eating bear.
They neared the site where the man was eaten. They came upon two bears, a male and a female. The ranger asked the American which bear ate his friend. The American replied that it was the male, the bigger of the two.
With that, the fearless ranger pulled out his hunting knife and with one fell swoop, slashed open the belly of the female, and out popped the man’s friend.
“Never trust someone when they say the Czech is in the male!”
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
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