Shouldn't that be Michael ?
My girlfriend said that I should pick a couple of my favourite fantasies for some roleplay to spice things up as apparently my performance wasn't up to par.
Sigh! So now I need a new girlfriend. On the bright side, I ticked snuff and necrophilia off my bucket list.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go.
The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
My eyes are always red and burn terribly whenever I have sex...
I think it's the pepper spray.
Last edited by irritant; 22-01-17 at 07:27 PM.
The pessimist: "Oh shit, this can't get any worse!...."
The optimist: "Yes, it can!...."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I said to my doctor “I’ve badly bruised my penis in a surfing accident”.
He said “Did you fall off your board?”
I said “No, I slammed the laptop shut when the wife walked in"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Have you ever wondered why is it impossible for a Chinese couple to have a Caucasian baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Last edited by irritant; 24-01-17 at 12:28 AM.
Why did the serial killer with the small penis not die immediately when they put the noose around his neck and dropped the platform below him?
Because he wasn't well hung.
Last edited by irritant; 24-01-17 at 12:27 AM.
I was 8 years old when it happened. Uncle Terry came into my room. The Sun was shining and I was looking forward to another nice day. But,
young as I was, I knew what his intentions were straight away. I was small for my age, but still I fought as hard as I could. He was just so
big, so strong, looking fierce with those tattoos and that toothless grin.
He forced me to do that terrible thing and I was powerless to stop him. The shame, the hurt, the pain and confusion ruined my
childhood and to this day I still wake up crying about it.
But I was luckier than some. That was the one and only time I had to wear a Collingwood jersey.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
.not funny
Last edited by pheggie; 24-01-17 at 07:09 PM.
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