Another Blonde Joke
A policeman responds to a upset and depressed female call. Upon arriving, he see's a young blonde women sitting on the front steps crying.
"What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" the officer asks.
"They took my vibrator" she answers tearfully.
Unsure if he heard her correctly, he blurts "What?"
"They took my damn vibrator from me!" the lady cries.
Taken aback, the officer thinks to himself, Surely, every person is entitled to their own form of private self-gratification.
"Where are the people who took it from you?" the officer asks.
"Inside!" she screams.
The officer steps inside the home, where he observes several people sitting on a couch.
"Is it true you took her vibrator from her?" he asks.
They nod their heads "yes".
"I can arrest you if you don't return her vibrator, you understand that don't you?" he informs them.
There is a moment of silence.
"Do you understand what I just said?" he asks again.
Another moment of silence.
Finally, one of them reply's "But surely, you don't expect us to just sit here and watch her chip her teeth all day, do you Officer?"
Last edited by firemansparky; 10-04-17 at 06:30 AM.
Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay? What's your name?"
"It's John, and I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
"John," she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," Elizabeth insisted. She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "my wife won't like it."
After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."
"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still under the cart, I guess."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
As a husband, I have one very important function to my wife, and that is, I am her sexual advisor...
Because she always says that if she wants my f*cking advice, she'll ask for it.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
My mate said, "What's your favorite mythical creature?"
I said, "Those happy women in tampax adverts."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
hazman (11-04-17)
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
The wife demanded that I help her with the cooking last night by doing something to make her job in the kitchen easier....
So I pulled the battery out of the smoke alarm.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...
"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
"Warning: May cause stress, impotence, poverty, adultery, murderous impulses and any other number of ailments." I said as I read the paper at the breakfast table.
"That's a serious warning dear, what's it on?" replied the wife.
"Wedding rings."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
irritant (13-04-17)
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