Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    My doctor told me that jogging can add several years to my life...

    He was right, after just one jog last evening I feel at least ten years older already.
    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    There's been an outcry from feminists who claim the new Doctor Who should be a woman.

    They just don't listen!!!. He's a Doctor, not a f*cking nurse.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AdrianR View Post
    Maybe the caption should have been 4 out of 5 lawyers.
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    Reporter to US sniper: "Your job must cause an unusual moral conflict. What do you actually feel when you kill a muslim terrorist?"

    "Recoil."
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Son: "Why is my sister called Teresa? "

    Dad: "Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram."

    Son: "Aaaah....Thanks dad."

    Dad: "No problem Alan."
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Two jokes in a single post!

    Last edited by DB44; 16-04-17 at 12:56 PM.

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  • 16-04-17, 03:47 PM

    Reason
    Comments

  • 16-04-17, 05:44 PM

    Reason
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  • #5892
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    Quote Originally Posted by alpha0ne View Post
    ^ I count three, and feel lucky the third head is partly obscured !!
    Quote Originally Posted by DB44 View Post
    I didn't take much notice of the background partially obscured figure, which looks like Christopher. If so, I of course stand corrected. If not, given the calibre of "Turnbull Coalition" mp's the odds are you are still correct. Though given the odds we are probably fairly safe with 4, including the figure in the row behind who's face is cut-off.
    I suppose the first comment could be vaguely interpreted as a joke.... this is a no comment thread as you both well know, so if I suggest you create a Coalition and Labor meme thread...there are plenty of memes to go around given the small calibre and lack of intelligence on both sides.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    A hen says egg comes first. then the Egg started to shout and debate that "NO, HENS COMES FIRST".

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    The wife's suggested a bit of role-reversal tonight and to be honest, I'm not looking forward to it.

    How the f*ck am I going to get through 4 kilos of chocolate.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    I was in a pub last night and there was this fat bird dancing on one of the tables.

    "Nice legs!" I said, to which she replied with a shy smile, "Really? Thank you so much!"

    To which I said, "Yeah, any other table's legs would have snapped or collapsed by now."
    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    It was only when I accidentally fell into the lion enclosure at the zoo, that I, for the first time in my life, truly saw and felt real fear...

    In case you were wondering it's brown, it's wet and it stinks.
    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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