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I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today. I asked her, "When it's due?"

She replied, "I'm not ****ing pregnant you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus you fat b***h!"

A teacher brought in a cat to class and ask the children
"What do you think hold its tail on?"
One little girl raised her hand, " the skin miss"
Another kid shouts out , "the cats fur miss".
At...

When my wife asked me to name all my sexual partners I'd ever had, I had to think back to when I was 16.
I took a couple of minutes to list them off and eventually got to my wife.
Looking back,...

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My mate Jack was hitch-hiking along Albany Highway on a very dark night when a storm blew up. He could hardly see his thumb in front of him but he's a plucky bugger and battled on until, finally, a...

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Ordering a Pizza in 2022

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

So I was at Cosco earlier with my service dog. The lady behind me at the checkout had about $100 worth of toilet paper in her shopping trolley . With an attitude she asked me, what type of dog he...

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