the 5 minute gang

[fandtm666]

thought i would start a thread on the ridiculousness and
stupid things people here in Australia are suing for or
stories they are starting on social media that just beggars belief.

1: woman suing a barber for not cutting her daughters hair
even though he told her he was not licensed or qualified




2: a woman is suing a french cafe because they dont sell macaroons



I label these people as the 5 minute gang because its fkn ridiculous and just looking for their
5 minutes in the lime light.


any others ???

[porkop]

any others ???

Yep......everyone on facebook!!!!!!!!!

[enf]

Yep......everyone on facebook!!!!!!!!!

[Reschs]

I always go back to the comment from Ted Danson in Becker.

Lawyers ? The sooner they make hunting them legal, the better.

Cannot fault his logic.

[trash]

I think the truth is we either have a media which is mindlessly stupid and desperate for any news.
or, I suspect the this might be fake news, (the real kind of fake news) where advertising agencies create news for media clearing houses.

I've just gone back over both articles looking for the clues that these are fake news and they both tick all of the boxes. I think what we have here is not news, it's advertising.

But lets assume they are not advertising.
I fail to see how either of these will make it past the first 5 minutes of mediation.

HEROC will sit down with both parties and ask them what they want in terms of resolution.
The barber has nothing to answer to. You cannot force him to perform a task which he does not want to do nor is qualified.
It would be asking a doctor to remove your appendix even though he is not a surgeon. He's going to refuse no matter how qualified you think he is.

The woman will most likely ask for one of two things. That the barber cut her daughters hair, which the mediator will make clear that will not happen.
Or as some people might think, they will ask for a cash settlement. In which case they will have to demonstrate why they deserve compensation for damages.
What damage have they suffered?

If I was the barber, I would say "I am not qualified nor do I feel confident to complete the task." Then sit their silently.
HEROC is pretty much going to throw it out and explain that it is a frivolous complaint. Any attempt to get into the small claims court or higher is going to be rejected by the magistrate. They will not waste the court's time on such rubbish and neither will lower courts or other even mediators.

The second example, what are you going to sue for? Upset feelings? Sorry, a court or mediator can't fix that.
I can see Judge Judy handling this case. "The Plaintiff is charged with contempt of court, case dismissed."
"But!"
"But what? If you didn't have contempt for this court and the legal system, you wouldn't be here, now fvck off!"

Neither of these examples looks real.

[trash]

Lawyers ? The sooner they make hunting them legal, the better.

Becker is awesome. He cracks me up.

What do you call a lawyer with half a brain?
Your honor!

[VroomVroom]

the one about the Sydney barber was on A Current Affair , so it must be true

[Mr 672A]

I always go back to the comment from Ted Danson in Becker.

Lawyers ? The sooner they make hunting them legal, the better.

Cannot fault his logic.

Most are the SCUM of the Earth and since this country has a record number of Lawyers in Parliament nothing will be changed because they are protected. trust me I know, I tried to sue one. (LOOK at my SIG)

[Mr 672A]

Talk about Lawyers most Barristers I say MOST are the real scum of the Earth as when working on Legal Aid cases they deliberately shorten the cases to run with there schedule at the expense of the defendant. Yes they are known to do this and most Solicitors know this and try to do the right thing to their client and keep away from these GREEDY Barristers but they are limited because of Legal aid limited Funds. Also I have been told before a case starts in court (30 Min before in there chambers) The Barrister make you sign a phone book size document and in there it say YOU CANNOT SUE THEM FOR ANYTHING THAT GOES WRONG or MISTAKES THEY MAKE IN THE COURT ROOM AND EVEN OUTSIDE the court room before the case starts. Yes this is protect but our Politicians.

[freakee1]

this facebook page is ok sorta points out all the trash trash was saying -




f

[gordon_s1942]

IN NSW, Barbers did Men's Hair and Women ran Hair dressing Salons.
As far as I am aware, this was controlled by an Act relating to the controlling of issuing licenses to those qualified.
I think this act was to remove unqualified people cutting hair as there had been numerous outbreaks of Lice etc due to them using unsterilised equipment.
Ladies Hairdressing Salons had to close no later than 1pm of a Saturday ( try telling a women she cant get her hair done for a Saturday afternoon/evening function) so the doors were closed, the blinds drawn and there sat my Mother under the Dryer.
All of this was changed to allow either to do services they wanted too, I just presumed doing both Men's and Women's Hairdressing is the same training and it was up to them to choose.
For those old enough to remember, you went to your local Barber for both Cigarettes and tobacco.


A local Doctor I used to see is one of the later GP's who didnt do Surgery as part of his training and he does not have the letters BS or MS after his name so can I sue him because he wont do any surgery on me if requested?

[trash]

Yes, Unfortunately Mr 672A, I used to think that Solicitors, Barristers where smart people who helped protect the little people. How else would these people spent four years at University and be held in high regard by the community?

What I learned (too late) is that they are not particularly smart people and are more amoral and crooked than most of their clients.

I thought my solicitors had my best interest in mind and knew the best actions to take to minimise damage to their client.
I discovered the exact oppose. My solicitors were only interested in bleeding me dry and in my opinion they did their darnedest to represent the other party.

By the time I worked this out, I not only had nothing left, I'd effectively handed over quart of a million dollars without going to court and I was in debt to them on the order of $20,000.
I was told by my solicitors, "This is the best deal you'll get." What they meant was, we can see we've bled your dry, time for us to get out before you realise we really don't have a clue what we're doing.
In hindsight I would have done a lot better by walking into court unprepared and throwing myself on the floor and let the judge do his worst. I would not have lost half as much.

My solicitors then came after me for the case. The good news is, that I had wised up to the legal system by then.
I told them that I would pay $2000 and they would discharge all the money that I owed them. The wrote me a very stern legal letter threatening legal action.
I sent them one back giving them "some good legal advice" because they were not capable of doing it themselves. (that really hit home hard)

I said that since they knew everything about me and my estate, they knew full well that they had sent me to the wall and then some. This constituted serious malpractice.
If they did not think that was the case, then I would be happy to take the matter to court where a judge could determine if their legal practices weren't questionable or ethical.
They would sue me for the $20,000 but when I could show demonstrable losses of $250,000, they risked loosing a lot more than they were trying to recover.
In any case, I could just hire more solicitors and run down two legal practices with bankruptcy and some media attention. That of course assumes that I lost. What's the worst that could happen to you if I win?

So, I will pay you $2000 which is 10c on the Dollar. It's cutting your losses and any accountant will tell you that on an investment that is flirting with bankruptcy, that is an extremely good deal.
I'm returning the legal advice you gave to me, "take it, it's the best deal you're going to get!"
Interestingly they accepted with the proviso that I would not take further legal action against them.

Experience is what you get right after you need it.

Latter I had a run in with another lawyer, this time a Barrister representing a friend. This Barrister was trying to convince my friend to accept a compromise to what the other party ways claiming.
She certainly did not want to do that and I had been reading the law involved and confirmed with her that she should not compromise even an inch.
Despite this her Barrister was trying to convince her that I had no idea what I was talking about and that he knew the law and she should compromise because it "might not go the way you expect."
I told her barrister that if he did not get his arse into the court room and represent her and her exact wishes, I would advise her to sack him (in the court if necessary) and I would represent her.

Thus began an argument on the courthouse steps over a point of basic law. It was then that I discovered that barristers are just bigger idiots than regular solicitors.
The barrister lost his legal argument "to an idiot" literally in a court.

He dragged his sorry arse into the court. The judge (who helped me realise that judges weren't the idiots that most people say they are) told the opposition solicitor that the claims they sort were frivolous, immoral and questionable with respect to human rights.
Our Barrister didn't even have to open his mouth, other than to breath. To be honest, I didn't think his brain could consume that much oxygen as his jaw it the floor.
I wanted to flip him the bird in court when he turned to look at us, but I resisted.

If he thought he had an easy win, he was wrong. Because I had not finished with him yet. I got on his case and questioned how much he charges and how he hasn't been sued for malpractice.
The look of contempt and hatred he had on his face was enhanced greatly by the smug look on mine.
I was like the Emperor from Return of the Jedi ..... <evil laugh> "Strike me down young Jedi and feel the power of the dark side!"
I could see he wanted to drop me with a one punch befitting of a disgruntled drunk at 2am on Oxford Street.
Several police in sight handing assaults and domestic violence cases, it would have been the most spectacular failure of the legal system in the last 100 years.

Somehow I think I have missed my calling. At some point in time I will break this universe !


Reality was - I think the barrister was afraid to actually go into court. It seems silly, but looking back on it, not going to court is them not loosing.
I also suspect that he just wanted to be somewhere else, like he had an important golf game to attend but he didn't want to leave without being paid first.

And since then I have crossed paths with other barristers. I've now come to realise they really do not seem to know what the hell they are doing. It's all bluff and the majority of their work appears to be scaring their clients into not going to court by over charging them and then telling them the court will be worse. The court is of course more bad news, but reality is, but the time people get there, their lawyers have already cleaned them out. The eye of the lawyer cyclone has passed and now there is just shit blowing around in the wind for the judge to sweep up.

I have also realised that provided you are not an idiot and you know how to conduct yourself in an Australian court, the court will actually support and even encourage you to self represent.

And after the above events, I did just that. I found that the opposing solicitors got very upset about me not doing what they wanted. They would not speak to me and would only speak to my solicitor,
When they finally got it through their thick skulls that I was seriously going up against them, they tried to intimidate me. Then they tried to overwhelm me with legal paperwork and jargon.
My tactic... ignore them and actually stuff them around. I created more work for them then they tried to create for me. I used their own tactics against them and it drove them insane.
Of course that cost somebody a lot of money in boondoggle.

When I finally got to courthouse steps again, I found an idiot wearing a suit. Again, they refused to speak to me and wanted to speak to my solicitor. I guess it still hadn't sunk in. Then again they tried the intimidation.
Mr Trash, you've refused our correspondence and you have not submitted any documents or evidence to the court.
"Yes, that's correct. I don't have to talk to you and I do not have to submit anything to the court."
They then tried to give me their legal advice. "Oh! Free legal advice. You never see that from a lawyer, you guys must be pretty crap at your job?"
Ha... that got them on the back foot and they started the legally threaten me. I now knew they had lost their shit.

The blindside. I told them that they were so bad at their job that I would make their client sack them.
I pulled out a USB stick which had video and audio evidence of their client threatening me, assaulting me, committing serious self harm and threatening to make false claim and commit perjury.
And I told their client what was on the USB stick and they knew full well what was on it.

You've never heard solicitors speak so god damn fast.
I said to their client: "Sack your solicitors, drop your claims or this goes into the court records."

They were instantly sacked. They then started arguing with their former client as I stood there smiling and giving them that slow smug wave goodbye !

5 minutes later I was in the court. I had been listening to other cases and once again, the judge was somebody who was smart and sensible. When my case came up the motion for dismissal was made by.
The judge (not being an idiot) was quick to wise up something was happening here. I was asked a series of very intense questions which were clearly intended to determined if I had threatened the other party.
I had not, but nor was I going to let the genie out of the bottle. The magistrate took her time to look over the details of the case and it only took her a few seconds to look up, look at me, look at the other party and realise that unreasonable claims were being made and that I was calling their bluff and they were backing down.
I walked out with exactly what I wanted and expected. Though in hindsight, I would should have asked for a small concession that would have set a nice precedent for later issues.
If I had actually had to fight it I would have done even better. I didn't need to go that far, just shutting down the action was all that was really required.
But taking another solicitor's scalp was it's own reward.

I just remembered my run in with a solicitor at HEROC.
A friend was unfairly dismissed and I went along to 'help'.
I made a statement to HEROC comparing their action to those of a well known big company. Their solicitor made the mistake of explaining the differences in the financial position of a big company vs a small one.
"You say you should be exempt from a law because your company is not as wealthy as another. The law applies equally to everybody." (It was an admission of guilt and a self incriminating statement as to why)
<The HEROC mediator turns to the solicitor and gives them that look, 'oh you just got butt fvcked' and by this guy!>

The settlement was pretty trivial. The company broke the law and they got caught and called to account. Everybody cut their losses and walked away.
My friend did not have a job but did have a handful of cash (not a lot) to walk away.

[Mr 672A]

thought i would start a thread on the ridiculousness and
stupid things people here in Australia are suing for or
stories they are starting on social media that just beggars belief.

1: woman suing a barber for not cutting her daughters hair
even though he told her he was not licensed or qualified




2: a woman is suing a french cafe because they dont sell macaroons



I label these people as the 5 minute gang because its fkn ridiculous and just looking for their
5 minutes in the lime light.


any others ???

You forgot to say I bet they used a Female Lawyer. Like that Fannie pad add on free to air TV (gone now) where that girl said "Us woman stick together"

[Mr 672A]

Yes, Unfortunately Mr 672A, I used to think that Solicitors, Barristers where smart people who helped protect the little people. How else would these people spent four years at University and be held in high regard by the community?

What I learned (too late) is that they are not particularly smart people and are more amoral and crooked than most of their clients.

I thought my solicitors had my best interest in mind and knew the best actions to take to minimise damage to their client.
I discovered the exact oppose. My solicitors were only interested in bleeding me dry and in my opinion they did their darnedest to represent the other party.

By the time I worked this out, I not only had nothing left, I'd effectively handed over quart of a million dollars without going to court and I was in debt to them on the order of $20,000.
I was told by my solicitors, "This is the best deal you'll get." What they meant was, we can see we've bled your dry, time for us to get out before you realise we really don't have a clue what we're doing.
In hindsight I would have done a lot better by walking into court unprepared and throwing myself on the floor and let the judge do his worst. I would not have lost half as much.

My solicitors then came after me for the case. The good news is, that I had wised up to the legal system by then.
I told them that I would pay $2000 and they would discharge all the money that I owed them. The wrote me a very stern legal letter threatening legal action.
I sent them one back giving them "some good legal advice" because they were not capable of doing it themselves. (that really hit home hard)

I said that since they knew everything about me and my estate, they knew full well that they had sent me to the wall and then some. This constituted serious malpractice.
If they did not think that was the case, then I would be happy to take the matter to court where a judge could determine if their legal practices weren't questionable or ethical.
They would sue me for the $20,000 but when I could show demonstrable losses of $250,000, they risked loosing a lot more than they were trying to recover.
In any case, I could just hire more solicitors and run down two legal practices with bankruptcy and some media attention. That of course assumes that I lost. What's the worst that could happen to you if I win?

So, I will pay you $2000 which is 10c on the Dollar. It's cutting your losses and any accountant will tell you that on an investment that is flirting with bankruptcy, that is an extremely good deal.
I'm returning the legal advice you gave to me, "take it, it's the best deal you're going to get!"
Interestingly they accepted with the proviso that I would not take further legal action against them.

Experience is what you get right after you need it.

Latter I had a run in with another lawyer, this time a Barrister representing a friend. This Barrister was trying to convince my friend to accept a compromise to what the other party ways claiming.
She certainly did not want to do that and I had been reading the law involved and confirmed with her that she should not compromise even an inch.
Despite this her Barrister was trying to convince her that I had no idea what I was talking about and that he knew the law and she should compromise because it "might not go the way you expect."
I told her barrister that if he did not get his arse into the court room and represent her and her exact wishes, I would advise her to sack him (in the court if necessary) and I would represent her.

Thus began an argument on the courthouse steps over a point of basic law. It was then that I discovered that barristers are just bigger idiots than regular solicitors.
The barrister lost his legal argument "to an idiot" literally in a court.

He dragged his sorry arse into the court. The judge (who helped me realise that judges weren't the idiots that most people say they are) told the opposition solicitor that the claims they sort were frivolous, immoral and questionable with respect to human rights.
Our Barrister didn't even have to open his mouth, other than to breath. To be honest, I didn't think his brain could consume that much oxygen as his jaw it the floor.
I wanted to flip him the bird in court when he turned to look at us, but I resisted.

If he thought he had an easy win, he was wrong. Because I had not finished with him yet. I got on his case and questioned how much he charges and how he hasn't been sued for malpractice.
The look of contempt and hatred he had on his face was enhanced greatly by the smug look on mine.
I was like the Emperor from Return of the Jedi ..... <evil laugh> "Strike me down young Jedi and feel the power of the dark side!"
I could see he wanted to drop me with a one punch befitting of a disgruntled drunk at 2am on Oxford Street.
Several police in sight handing assaults and domestic violence cases, it would have been the most spectacular failure of the legal system in the last 100 years.

Somehow I think I have missed my calling. At some point in time I will break this universe !


Reality was - I think the barrister was afraid to actually go into court. It seems silly, but looking back on it, not going to court is them not loosing.
I also suspect that he just wanted to be somewhere else, like he had an important golf game to attend but he didn't want to leave without being paid first.

And since then I have crossed paths with other barristers. I've now come to realise they really do not seem to know what the hell they are doing. It's all bluff and the majority of their work appears to be scaring their clients into not going to court by over charging them and then telling them the court will be worse. The court is of course more bad news, but reality is, but the time people get there, their lawyers have already cleaned them out. The eye of the lawyer cyclone has passed and now there is just shit blowing around in the wind for the judge to sweep up.

I have also realised that provided you are not an idiot and you know how to conduct yourself in an Australian court, the court will actually support and even encourage you to self represent.

And after the above events, I did just that. I found that the opposing solicitors got very upset about me not doing what they wanted. They would not speak to me and would only speak to my solicitor,
When they finally got it through their thick skulls that I was seriously going up against them, they tried to intimidate me. Then they tried to overwhelm me with legal paperwork and jargon.
My tactic... ignore them and actually stuff them around. I created more work for them then they tried to create for me. I used their own tactics against them and it drove them insane.
Of course that cost somebody a lot of money in boondoggle.

When I finally got to courthouse steps again, I found an idiot wearing a suit. Again, they refused to speak to me and wanted to speak to my solicitor. I guess it still hadn't sunk in. Then again they tried the intimidation.
Mr Trash, you've refused our correspondence and you have not submitted any documents or evidence to the court.
"Yes, that's correct. I don't have to talk to you and I do not have to submit anything to the court."
They then tried to give me their legal advice. "Oh! Free legal advice. You never see that from a lawyer, you guys must be pretty crap at your job?"
Ha... that got them on the back foot and they started the legally threaten me. I now knew they had lost their shit.

The blindside. I told them that they were so bad at their job that I would make their client sack them.
I pulled out a USB stick which had video and audio evidence of their client threatening me, assaulting me, committing serious self harm and threatening to make false claim and commit perjury.
And I told their client what was on the USB stick and they knew full well what was on it.

You've never heard solicitors speak so god damn fast.
I said to their client: "Sack your solicitors, drop your claims or this goes into the court records."

They were instantly sacked. They then started arguing with their former client as I stood there smiling and giving them that slow smug wave goodbye !

5 minutes later I was in the court. I had been listening to other cases and once again, the judge was somebody who was smart and sensible. When my case came up the motion for dismissal was made by.
The judge (not being an idiot) was quick to wise up something was happening here. I was asked a series of very intense questions which were clearly intended to determined if I had threatened the other party.
I had not, but nor was I going to let the genie out of the bottle. The magistrate took her time to look over the details of the case and it only took her a few seconds to look up, look at me, look at the other party and realise that unreasonable claims were being made and that I was calling their bluff and they were backing down.
I walked out with exactly what I wanted and expected. Though in hindsight, I would should have asked for a small concession that would have set a nice precedent for later issues.
If I had actually had to fight it I would have done even better. I didn't need to go that far, just shutting down the action was all that was really required.
But taking another solicitor's scalp was it's own reward.

I just remembered my run in with a solicitor at HEROC.
A friend was unfairly dismissed and I went along to 'help'.
I made a statement to HEROC comparing their action to those of a well known big company. Their solicitor made the mistake of explaining the differences in the financial position of a big company vs a small one.
"You say you should be exempt from a law because your company is not as wealthy as another. The law applies equally to everybody." (It was an admission of guilt and a self incriminating statement as to why)
<The HEROC mediator turns to the solicitor and gives them that look, 'oh you just got butt fvcked' and by this guy!>

The settlement was pretty trivial. The company broke the law and they got caught and called to account. Everybody cut their losses and walked away.
My friend did not have a job but did have a handful of cash (not a lot) to walk away.

FUKKKKK I tock 1 hour to reply for this post bit ipress a key anbd it went!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MY STROKJERDEWWEDEDE

[Mr 672A]

Maybe the Lawyers did this because they dont want me to type the stuff they got up to. ther are some good solititors and barristers but noe many think about justice as the most of them only think about is how to bleed you dry without you notice this.

[trash]

that has been happening to me a bit when posting. It did it with that post too. BUT... If you send post and it goes to a blank page, do nothing.
Open a new browser window from scratch and check your internet connection. Check the thread to see if it has already posted. If it hasn't, then just put the cursor on the tail of the URL and hit enter.
If it doesn't attempt to repost, then click back and it should be cached in the browser memory.
I then cut and paste it to a test file for backup before pressing <post> again and it usually works.

I'd agree you're laywers did this except that they are waaaay to stupid to work out how to turn a PC on. They have to charge you $5 per page because they have to employ a legal intern to refill the printer else they would never work it out for themselves

[gordon_s1942]

Over the years (40) I have misplaced the Deeds of the House so we went to a Solicitor I had dealt with when sorting out Interest charges on unpaid Septic Tank installation (like $20,00) and he managed to convince them I had asked a few years before when catching up on Unpaid Rates (very lacksidaisical) was there any other debts outstanding and I was told no.
Then out of the blue up turned this demand for payment regarding the installation of the Septic tank several years before.
It turned out I did owe money on the installation but after his intervention, they wiped the interest at COMPOUND rates and I just paid a normal rate that was due.
Getting back to the Deeds, when I asked him to get a copy issued, he asked 'why did I want them ?', which I thought coming from a Solicitor was a strange question.