Good review.and based on it I watched this.
I enjoyed it, but took away from it a few other things. I think most guys (and girls) for that matter have been in the same situation as the two lead characters, thinking they have found "the one" and to not have the feeling reciprocated. perhaps not to the extent portrayed in the film but none the less a "crush" is universal to all. (many one sided crushes exist)
I did not see the conformity that you mention (which is ok we all see things differently and I could be way off anyway) what I took away from the male/female dynamics of the film, was that they shared some time together but ultimately were not well suited for each other (in some deeper way Summer is quite subtle about it) but obvious feelings still remained (as they wished each other well - a friendship) and moved on with there lives.
I think this was evident when "Tom" meets the girl @ the job interview and its some what implied that they have more in common and the fact that she has noticed him around therefore have a better chance of a successful relationship.
Tricky to pin point it all, might have to watch it again at a later date and see what comes of a second viewing.
Was interesting to watch.
just my opinion - each his/her own
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