is this true
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from
among many men.
The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the
shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man
from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend,
but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?”
And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help
with the housework.
“Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And
again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the
housework and have a strong romantic streak.
“Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?”
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Last edited by mtv; 08-11-17 at 01:34 PM. Reason: moved to the joke thread
Absolutely. Though the number of visitors to floor 6 has approximately doubled by now.
Last edited by lsemmens; 08-11-17 at 12:01 PM.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
It also shows how stupid they are because there are not that many women on the planet so assuming they were all women some of them went to the top floor more than once.Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor.
Also very true and further proof that they are impossible to please.Originally Posted by WhiteOx
It also shows how stupid they are .... some of them went to the top floor more than once.
Last edited by Neddie; 08-11-17 at 12:37 PM.
On the other hand it might be only the one - My Ex Wife.
What's the difference between BSE and PMT?
One effects the cows brain causing it to go insanely mental.
The other is also a severe mental illness, but it's only found in cattle.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Frightening news.
I have just read that 25% of women are under medication for mental health problems.
The frightening thing is the other 75% are running round unmedicated.
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a
second chance instead of jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of
drug use.
I'll see you back in court Monday.
"On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?
""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.
""Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it?"
"I used a diagram, your honor.
I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the
small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says.
"I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your arsehole before
prison..................
Channel 4 are said to be delighted at the viewing figures for the final of the Great British Bake Off 2017 of 7.1 million.
That's 1.1 million more than the legendary Great German Bake Off of '44.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Anyone know what the Vegas odds are on Weiner surviving his first night and NOT becoming somebody's BITCH?
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK, old fart, time to retire.' The old rooster replies,' come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says, 'Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.' The old rooster says 'I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs, 'You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start. '
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM!,end of young Rooster. The farmer sadly shakes his head, 'Damn,...third gay rooster I bought this month.'
An elderly lady walks into a sex shop, shaking as though she has Parkinson's.
She walks up to the counter and says to the assistant,"Young maaaan, have you got a viiiibraaaatoor?"
He's a bit taken aback and not sure if her heard her correctly because of her shaky voice, but he picks out a modest sized model and places it on the counter.
"Nooooo, biiigger thaaan thaaat!" So he brings her the next size up, "Noooooo, noooo, biiiigger thaaan thaaaat!"
This happens a few times until finally he places the biggest vibrator in the entire shop on the counter. It's eighteen inches long with a girth that would make ANYONES eyes water.
"Yeeeees, yeeeees, thaaaat's the one. Hoooow do you tuuuurn it off?"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A farmer cleaning his gun one night accidentally shoots his wife
Quickly he phones the emergency services, when the operator answers,
He says "I've accidentally shot my wife"
The operator reply's "Calm down first things first, can you make sure she is dead"
the farmer reply's "One moment"
the operator hears the farmer place the receiver down and then the operator heard "Click.......BANG"
then the farmer picks up the receiver and say "Right done that what next"
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics.
Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself, and how not to argue with me at the top of the stairs ......... again.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Senior Shoplifter
A cranky older woman "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time,
from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away.
She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.
The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.”
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"
The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"
The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole two cans of peas."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Mohammed dies and goes to Heaven. St Peter says...whoa...hold up.... we don't let your sorts into heaven.
Mohammed is mystified...he says I am a good man....last week I gave 5 dollars to an orphan...the week before I gave 5 dollars to Nuns....and the week before that I gave 5 dollars for the Christian church building fund.
Saint Peters say 'hang on a minute...I'll go talk with God"
Five minutes later St Peter says " I've had a chat with God.....Here's your 15 bucks back...now #### off!!"
When I was young I used to think Earwigs actually lived in your ears!
I shat myself when I heard there were things called Cockroaches!
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Couple of young chaps pop into the local Catholic church for confession before heading out for the night.
Tommy goes into the confessional first, the Priest says, "And who might be the woman you were with?"
"I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
Tommy: "I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
Tommy: "I'll never tell."
"Was it Lisa O'Shanter?"
Tommy: "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
Tommy: "My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
Tommy: "Please Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned and you must atone. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Five more good leads!" says Tommy
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