It didn’t matter how many times I forcefully said "focus" to the wife while she was practicing her reverse parking.
She still hit it.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The police phoned me to tell me my wife was in hospital.
"How is she?" I asked, concerned.
"Critical," replied the officer.
"Oh for f*cks sake, what's she complaining about now?"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Banned
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
^.wanted: used bicycle seats
A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"
I said, "People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Studies have shown that adults aged 18-45 who don't get enough sleep, suffer from a condition where they believe that other people give a flying f*ck about how much sleep they got last night.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Great news for all of you with a coke habit.
No more sleeps till Christmas.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I'm really steamed at my wife. She is so immature!
Last night I was taking a bath and she came in and sunk all my little boats!
But I'm really a lucky guy.
I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work.
She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, 'My husbands home! My husband's home!' What a gal I married!
Last edited by mickstv; 22-12-17 at 10:03 PM.
Pity the wife doesn't suck my c*ck the way she sucks the joy out of everything else................
-------------------------------------."
I said to the wife "Sorry, I'm only going to be able to buy you something small for Christmas."
Wife with a smile "How about frilly knickers?"
"Are you deaf? I said something small."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Siamese twins walk into a bar in New York.
One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us. We're joined at the hip. I'm John and here on my right is Jim. Two beers please.'
The bartender, feeling kind of awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers and asks, 'Been on holiday yet, lads?'
'Off to England next month,' says John. 'We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim nods his head in agreement.
Ah, England,' says the bartender. 'Wonderful country - the history, the beer, the culture.'
'Nah, we don't like all that British baloney,' says John. 'We can't stand the English -- they're terrible, so arrogant and rude.
And it's too crowded, lousy, food, warm beer.'
'So why keep going to England?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I visited my daughter yesterday and while there asked her a simple question.
"Can I borrow your newspaper love?"
"Dad" she replied "This is the 21st. century, we don't waste money on newspapers! Here borrow my ipad"
As I handed it back I said,"that fly didn't know what hit it!!!!!"
A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a
blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her
biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.
Fox Sports to show next years world origami championships....
It's on paper view.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Its Boxing Day. The day that we all have just one thing on our minds...
"I wonder how much I can get for this crap on Ebay?"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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