The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing$1,000. It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered....
"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada..... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno'
IRISH LOGIC
An old Irishman was asked, "At your ripe old age, which would you prefer to get – Parkinson’s or Alzheimer's?" The Irishman replied, "Bejesus, definitely Parkinson’s! Better to spill half an ounce of whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!"
Some religious people believe that serious illnesses such as cancer do not require medical treatment, and can be cured by the power of prayer alone.
Sceptics may chuckle, but there is an actual scientific basis for this kind of thinking.
It's called natural selection.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Therapist: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?"
Me: "Can't say I do."
Therapist: "That's one of them."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I got pissed up and smashed up the cleaning products aisle of Aldi.
The police are trying to work out whether to charge me with a bleach of the peace or domestos violence.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
SYMPATHETIC HUBBY
This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff's deputies there.
He asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.
The guy says "sure" and shows him a picture of his wife.
The sheriff says, "I'm very sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy says, " I know, but she has a great personality, and she's an excellent cook."
Fact of the day.
Women never answer video calls after 9pm because their face has been restored to factory settings.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I chipped in 5 bucks...
Gotta feel for Don, trying to negotiate with the dems is like banging your head against a wall.
Last edited by irritant; 24-12-18 at 04:59 AM.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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