The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Confucius say.
Man have hair on head
Woman have hair on head
But on whole woman have most.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
Confucius say...Originally Posted by lsemmens
"Man who enter sideways through sliding doors at airport is going to Bangkok."
Last edited by irritant; 12-04-19 at 05:30 PM. Reason: Replace with another one
"Darling," I said hesitantly. "I don't want you to get angry, but I have a tiny criticism about your weight"
"Don't worry, " she replied. "I can take it on the chin."
"Ummmm.....................which one?"
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Just figured out the best thing about fingering a gypsy that's on her period...
You get your palm red for free.
The wife's been nagging me for years, "When are you ever going to knock something up in the kitchen for yourself for once?"
So I did...
Our 21-year old au pair is now pregnant after I took her from behind at the sink...
I've been working with a cannibal tribe in Papua New Guinea for a while, and I've recently persuaded them to go vegan.
They love 'em.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Can't wait for the new series of Doctor Who. The BBC have just announced that the Doctor will face her most deadly and evil enemy yet, the scourge of the universe, the evil nemesis of all things good and true...
The straight white male.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Laws for your protection
A woman from Sydney who was a tree-hugging vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a plot of native bushland in northern NSW. There was a large gum tree on one of the highest points in her property. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big gum.
As she neared the top she encountered a koala that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, vegetarian, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, Native Vegetation, Parks and Wildlife service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.
.........................And I'm sorry, they turned you down
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Dear Diary,
My close friends asked me to go camping today.
So I made as list of things I’ll need......
1) New Friends.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
The Mathematics of Sex
Sex -- Order of Operations:
Add (+) the bed
Subtract (-) the clothes
Divide(/) the legs, and...
pray you don't multiply (x).
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