Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #8341
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,023
    Thanks
    7,349
    Thanked 12,494 Times in 1,800 Posts
    Rep Power
    5260
    Reputation
    249784

    Default


  2. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    enf (15-05-19),fred49au (16-05-19),gulliver (17-05-19),hinekadon (15-05-19),irritant (16-05-19),Keith (15-05-19),SS Dave (15-05-19)



  • #8342
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (16-05-19),gulliver (17-05-19),irritant (16-05-19),Keith (15-05-19),lsemmens (15-05-19)

  • #8343
    Senior Member
    irritant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,684
    Thanks
    5,055
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 831 Posts
    Rep Power
    1636
    Reputation
    73270

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hinekadon View Post
    --------------------------------------

    Funny Book Titles and Authors

    "Home Maintenance"....by Duane Pipe

    "Growing up in the Balkans".....by Hugo Slavia

    "Irish Winter Tales".....by Pete Moss

    "Increase Your Brain Power"....by Sarah Bellum

    "Looking Into the Wishing Well"....by Eileen Dover

    "How to Write a Mystery Novel"....by Page Turner

    --------------------------------------
    "Spots on the Wall"....by Hoo-flung Dung

  • The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to irritant For This Useful Post:

    enf (19-05-19),gulliver (18-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19)

  • #8344
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (17-05-19),gulliver (17-05-19),hazman (17-05-19),hinekadon (17-05-19),irritant (17-05-19),Keith (17-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),mandc (18-05-19),mkhannah (18-05-19)

  • #8345
    Premium Member
    fred49au's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    75
    Posts
    586
    Thanks
    5,783
    Thanked 3,272 Times in 524 Posts
    Rep Power
    1357
    Reputation
    57071

    Default

    You pick up a hitchhiker...
    A young, sexy, beautiful girl.
    Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital.
    Now that's stressful.


    But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you that you're going to be a father.
    You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
    This is getting very stressful!


    You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.


    After the tests are completed, the doctor says the test shows you're infertile,
    And probably have been since birth.
    You're extremely stressed but relieved.


    On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home...

    NOW THATS STRESS!!!!!!!!!

    Last edited by fred49au; 17-05-19 at 10:58 AM.

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to fred49au For This Useful Post:

    carjackma (17-05-19),enf (17-05-19),gulliver (17-05-19),hazman (17-05-19),hinekadon (17-05-19),irritant (17-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),mkhannah (18-05-19)

  • #8346
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,023
    Thanks
    7,349
    Thanked 12,494 Times in 1,800 Posts
    Rep Power
    5260
    Reputation
    249784

    Default


  • The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    enf (17-05-19),fred49au (18-05-19),gulliver (18-05-19),hinekadon (17-05-19),irritant (17-05-19),Keith (18-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),mkhannah (18-05-19),shred (20-05-19)

  • #8347
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (18-05-19),gulliver (18-05-19),hazman (18-05-19),hinekadon (18-05-19),irritant (18-05-19),Keith (18-05-19),mkhannah (18-05-19),ol' boy (18-05-19)

  • #8348
    Senior Member
    irritant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,684
    Thanks
    5,055
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 831 Posts
    Rep Power
    1636
    Reputation
    73270

    Default


  • The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to irritant For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    alpha0ne (19-05-19),enf (19-05-19),fred49au (19-05-19),gulliver (19-05-19),hazman (20-05-19),hinekadon (18-05-19),Keith (19-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),mkhannah (18-05-19),ol' boy (18-05-19),Reschs (19-05-19),shred (20-05-19)

  • #8349
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    alpha0ne (19-05-19),fred49au (20-05-19),gulliver (20-05-19),hazman (20-05-19),hinekadon (19-05-19),irritant (20-05-19),Keith (19-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),mkhannah (19-05-19),ol' boy (19-05-19),Tiny (22-05-19)

  • #8350
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    358
    Thanks
    549
    Thanked 634 Times in 172 Posts
    Rep Power
    367
    Reputation
    12721

    Default

    Last edited by mi_tasol; 19-05-19 at 04:05 PM.

  • The Following User Says Thank You to mi_tasol For This Useful Post:

    hinekadon (19-05-19)

  • #8351
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    1,433
    Thanks
    934
    Thanked 1,661 Times in 724 Posts
    Rep Power
    836
    Reputation
    32307

    Default


  • The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Thala Dan For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    alpha0ne (20-05-19),carjackma (20-05-19),enf (20-05-19),fred49au (20-05-19),gulliver (20-05-19),hazman (20-05-19),hinekadon (20-05-19),irritant (20-05-19),Jma (20-05-19),Keith (20-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),ol' boy (20-05-19),SS Dave (20-05-19),Tiny (20-05-19)

  • #8352
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    crazy (21-05-19),fred49au (21-05-19),gulliver (20-05-19),hazman (20-05-19),hinekadon (20-05-19),irritant (20-05-19),Keith (20-05-19),mkhannah (21-05-19),ol' boy (20-05-19),SS Dave (20-05-19),Tiny (21-05-19),william10 (20-05-19)

  • #8353
    Senior Member
    irritant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,684
    Thanks
    5,055
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 831 Posts
    Rep Power
    1636
    Reputation
    73270

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    LOL

    Or Buffest, Buff....Buffet.

  • The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to irritant For This Useful Post:

    enf (20-05-19),Keith (21-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19),ol' boy (21-05-19)

  • #8354
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    alpha0ne (21-05-19),fred49au (21-05-19),gulliver (21-05-19),hazman (21-05-19),irritant (21-05-19),Keith (21-05-19),lsemmens (21-05-19)

  • #8355
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,023
    Thanks
    7,349
    Thanked 12,494 Times in 1,800 Posts
    Rep Power
    5260
    Reputation
    249784

    Default


  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    alpha0ne (21-05-19),enf (21-05-19),fred49au (22-05-19),hinekadon (21-05-19),irritant (21-05-19),mkhannah (21-05-19),ol' boy (21-05-19),william10 (21-05-19)

  • #8356
    Senior Member
    irritant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,684
    Thanks
    5,055
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 831 Posts
    Rep Power
    1636
    Reputation
    73270

    Default


  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to irritant For This Useful Post:

    alpha0ne (22-05-19),enf (22-05-19),fred49au (22-05-19),gulliver (22-05-19),hazman (22-05-19),hinekadon (22-05-19),Keith (22-05-19),lsemmens (23-05-19),ol' boy (22-05-19),william10 (22-05-19)

  • #8357
    Senior Member
    irritant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,684
    Thanks
    5,055
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 831 Posts
    Rep Power
    1636
    Reputation
    73270

    Default


  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to irritant For This Useful Post:

    enf (22-05-19),fred49au (22-05-19),gulliver (22-05-19),hazman (22-05-19),hinekadon (22-05-19),Keith (22-05-19),lsemmens (23-05-19),ol' boy (22-05-19)

  • #8358
    Premium Member
    ol' boy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    17,662
    Thanks
    8,131
    Thanked 10,460 Times in 5,194 Posts
    Rep Power
    4471
    Reputation
    184272

    Default

    If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!

  • The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to ol' boy For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    alpha0ne (22-05-19),carjackma (22-05-19),enf (22-05-19),fred49au (22-05-19),gulliver (22-05-19),hazman (22-05-19),hinekadon (22-05-19),irritant (22-05-19),Keith (22-05-19),lsemmens (23-05-19),william10 (22-05-19)

  • #8359
    Premium Member
    ol' boy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    17,662
    Thanks
    8,131
    Thanked 10,460 Times in 5,194 Posts
    Rep Power
    4471
    Reputation
    184272

    Default

    If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to ol' boy For This Useful Post:

    enf (22-05-19),fred49au (23-05-19),hazman (22-05-19),irritant (22-05-19),Keith (23-05-19),lsemmens (23-05-19),Tiny (22-05-19),william10 (22-05-19)

  • #8360
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,752
    Thanks
    16,817
    Thanked 34,961 Times in 9,058 Posts
    Rep Power
    13677
    Reputation
    644429

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    hazman (23-05-19),irritant (22-05-19),Keith (23-05-19),lsemmens (23-05-19),Tiny (22-05-19)

  • Page 418 of 635 FirstFirst ... 318368408409410411412413414415416417418419420421422423424425426427428468518 ... LastLast

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •