The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Daughter: Mom I'm pregnant again, Must be something in the air.
Mother:Yeah your frigging legs !!
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
GF: Happy fathers day babe.
BF: I'm not a father.
GF: Yeah about that !
Beggar: "Do you have any change for a cup of tea?"
"Yeah, try coffee."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants, and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was struck by a bus and killed.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the bus?"
(You'll love this)
God replied:
" I didn't recognize you!"
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON,
"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS
BUT, JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.
HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE 'GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT MR.GORSKY AND
THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE HIS MR. GORSKY HAD JUST DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.
HERE IS THE ANSWER TO "WHO WAS MR. GORSKY?":
IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.
HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.
HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.
AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT
MR. GORSKY,
"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"
It broke the place up.
NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS A TRUE STORY
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
LSemmens
Premium Member
LSemmens
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Why isn't there a cure for cancer?
Because there is more money to be made treating a disease for a lifetime rather than curing it in a day.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Arguing with an ADMIN about group rules dosen't make you a rebel or a revolutionary..
It just makes you a non-member.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Last edited by SS Dave; 10-08-19 at 12:12 PM.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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