Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #8961
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    Parking For Women... probably more truthful than a joke.


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    Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes:

    * ATD- At the Doctor's

    * BFF - Best Friends Funeral

    * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

    * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

    * CBM- Covered by Medicare

    * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Centre

    * DWI- Driving While Incontinent

    * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

    * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

    * GHA - Got Heartburn Again

    * HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

    * LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out

    * LOL- Living on Lipitor

    * OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas

    * TOT- Texting on Toilet

    * WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

    * GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    I'm glad that so many celebrities at the Golden Globes were so outspokenly concerned about the fires in Australia that they attended a glittering, overly opulent awards ceremony.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Having a problem attaching images.
    Last edited by hazman; 15-01-20 at 06:40 PM.

  • #8970
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    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion...

    The more likely she is to express it
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Last edited by hazman; 19-01-20 at 01:21 PM.

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    Last edited by RogerTheDoger; 19-01-20 at 05:18 PM. Reason: Fixed

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    Quote Originally Posted by RogerTheDoger View Post
    .
    Funniest full stop I've ever seen.....

    P.S. ..... Oooops...fixed.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    A sweet grandmothertelephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is itpossible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient isdoing?"

    The operator said, "I'll be glad tohelp, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

    Thegrandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room302."

    The operator replied, "Let me put you onhold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

    Aftera few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "Ihave good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Herblood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and herPhysician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be dischargedtomorrow."

    The grandmother said, "Thank you.That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the goodNews."

    The operator replied, "You're more thanwelcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

    The grandmothersaid, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells meanything."
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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