Bugga you tiny! I want to thank you for that lot, twice! It still has me LOL!Originally Posted by Tiny
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Lovemaking Tips For Senior Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want …. the neighbours are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
He/she says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN ...
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
(I sent this in large type so you can read it)
It's nice having a spare Access Point and 24dBi antenna
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Business admin professor: "Fame and fortune will only come your way after you succeed."
Blonde student: "Who is seed?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
After his operation the doctors advised him that all was well.
However, the officer kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it meant that more surgery was needed and the doctors
hadn't told him about yet, he finally plucked up courage to pull his
hospital gown up sufficiently to look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three
Very wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily
--- if at all...!!!!!!!!
Written on the tape in large black letters was :
"Get well soon!!!, from the nurse in the blue Ford Mondeo you pulled over
last week and booked for speeding!"
Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
We all follow our leader in Merica
Last edited by ol' boy; 26-04-20 at 10:22 AM.
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Fun fact of the day...
Men and women are dying from the Corona virus in greater numbers than all the other genders combined.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Ha Ha Ha
Cheers
Ted (Al)
Maybe Tiny and wotnot can use one of these for their Sim Racing?
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Bloody Hell that brings back some memories. I had shortlisted a CP/M computer back when I was shopping for a new one. I ended up with a machine that was running that relatively new operating system called MSDOS. It cost me nearly $3k for 256kB RAM, twin 360kB floppies and an Amber monitor. I could not see the value in the (then) new colour monitors.Maybe Tiny and wotnot can use one of these for their Sim Racing?
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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