Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
One big difference between men and women is
If a women says "smell this" it usually smell's nice..
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
I can't wait for another royal to die. That minutes silence with the wife was an experience I'll never forget.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS..
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!""What powerful rivers!""What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look . . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could along the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer ....and then ..... he tripped and fell.
Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him .....reaching towards him with its left paw ...and raising the right paw to strike ...
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped ...The bear froze .....The forest was silent ....
A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky ...
"You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident ....Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"
"Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light ...."It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
... a pause ...
"Very well," said the voice ...
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed ...And the bear dropped his right arm ....brought both paws together ...bowed his head & spoke:
"LORD, BLESS THIS FOOD, WHICH I AM ABOUT TO RECEIVE."
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
This happened yesterday and is important information for age group over 70.
A friend had his 1st dose of the vaccine at the vaccination centre after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.
When he got home, he called the vaccination centre for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor or be hospitalised.
He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the vaccination centre immediately and pick up his glasses.
And so, the jokes begin!
Instead of cleaning house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think
"Wow, my house looks great!"
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
*Q*: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
*A*: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; its like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.
*Q*: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
*A*: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too.
Bottoms up!
*Q*: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
*A*: Can't think of one, sorry.
My philosophy: No pain...good!
*Q*: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
*A*: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil.
How getting more vegetable be bad?
*Q*: Is chocolate bad for me?
*A*: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!
It best feel-good food around!
*Q*: Is swimming good for your figure?
*A*: If swimming good for figure,
explain whale to me.
*Q*: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
*A*: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!😂
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.
BUT
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake
9. Hennessey inventor dies at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, Take some rest, Chill, Stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die
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