I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Thoughts for the Day:
* IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
* RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.
* I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD, I'M 85 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
* WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AUSTRALIA MOVE?
* WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL. WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL.
* BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.
* LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
* VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN’T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES.
* I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY?” -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
* IN MY DEFENCE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
* IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.
* MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A RABBIT WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.
* SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.
* CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.
* I THOUGHT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
* A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - NOTHING.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Last night I accused the wife of cheating on me with a black guy.
She broke down sobbing and said, "Nothing you say could be less true !"
Looking over the top of the paper, I replied "What about - you're a slender, fit, attractive 60kg woman."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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