In an effort to avoid racial stereotypes, Uncle Ben's rice has been force to embark on a multi million dollar re-branding.
Uncle Adolf's should be in all major supermarkets by christmas.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Victorian government Covid disaster handling is supported by 62% of Victorians.
What do you call a basement full of feminists?
A whine cellar.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I’ve just read the 10 best things to do in Victoria.
1. Leave
...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport.
A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him.
He presumes, because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airline motto: "We love to fly and it shows".
The woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: "Winning the hearts of the world".
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: "Going beyond expectations".
The woman looks at him sternly and says: "What the #### do you want dickhead?"
"Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face... "British Airways!".
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day.
The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair.
They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.
The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.
They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 hours go by and the spy isn’t talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.
The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.
The Italian spy says, ” I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands.”
A blind guy walks into a shop, picks up his dog and starts swinging it around his head.
"Are you OK ? Can I help you ? " asked the shopkeeper.
"No thanks....I'm just looking around" replied the blind guy.
Hunter Biden is under scrutiny for dodgy financial dealings.
The difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump? Donald Trump knows who Hunter Biden is.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The only thing I take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is Fish and Chips.
And even that I take with a pinch of salt.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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