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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may cause offense, read at your own risk

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The Muslim Book Store:


    So, I was walking through the mall and I saw there was a "Muslim Book Store”. I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim book store so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on the U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims"? The clerk said, "#### off, get out, and stay out"! I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback"?

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    The man said to the cockroach "My penis is 10 times longer than your whole body."

    The cockroach replied "That may be true but I make your wife scream 10 times louder than you do."
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Baby, you remind me of my little toe... Cute, small, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    A paramedic was doing his VDI outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little home made cart with yellow and green squares on.
    The little girl was wearing a green helmet with a blue light on top. The cart was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
    The paramedic walked over to take a closer look.
    "That sure is a nice ambulance", the paramedic said with admiration.
    "Thanks", the girl replied.
    The paramedic looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
    "Little paramedic", the paramedic said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your ambulance, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
    The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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  • #8689
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    Always walk a mile in someone's shoes before you criticise them...then you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes

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    MY DEAR , RELIGION IS LIKE A PENIS
    ITS PERFECTLY FINE FOR ONE TO HAVE AND TO TAKE PRIDE IN ,
    BUT WHEN ONE TAKES IT OUT AND WAVES IT IN MY FACE
    WE HAVE A PROBLEM
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Sorry mods, but.......f#@k!!!
    Cheers
    Ted (Al)

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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Obviously a Sausage Dog
    If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Collingwood.........................
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Recently leaked documents from the Vatican have shown why the Catholic Church is protecting paedophiles.

    Apparently, the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    .I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers, F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng?
    Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

    7H15 M3554G3
    53RV35 7O PR0V3
    H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
    D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
    1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
    1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
    17 WA5 H4RD BU7
    N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
    Y0UR M1ND 1S
    R34D1NG 17
    4U70M471C4LLY
    W17H 0U7 3V3N
    7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
    B3 PROUD! 0NLY
    C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
    R3AD 7H15.
    PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
    U C4N R34D 7H15.
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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  • #8699
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    And, no! I am NOT going to F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15!
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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