The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
So a woman just shot up Youtube Headquarters, fired 20 shots and only injured 4 people....
....looks like mass shootings are another thing to chalk up to the long list of things that men are better at than women.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I was walking towards McDonalds and watched as this pretty young thing raced out of the doors dropping her purse on the ground.
Having trouble walking, I tried to catch her to tell her she dropped her purse.
I yelled but she was to involved looking at her smart phone, as they do, to hear me.
I followed her yelling out "you have dropped your purse". No response.
I followed her down the stairs onto the railway station platform knowing I'll catch her here while she waits for a train.
No luck, as we get onto the platform the train doors open and she gets in. "Shit" I said.
I board the train at the doors nearest me knowing I can walk through the train to her.
I finally get to her and tell her, "you dropped your purse at the doors of McDonalds".
She thanks me and as I turn to walk away, she say's "where is my purse?"
I turned, looked at her and said
"For fu*ks sake, I told you, at the doors to McDonalds".
I then walked off only to get a barrage of abuse from her.
Un fu*ken grateful if you ask me.
You can learn alot using Google, and the search button.....
Car salesman "this does 0 to 40kph in 45 seconds and will not go any faster no matter what."
"Perfect! I'll take it" said the arsehole I seem to get stuck behind every f*cking morning when I drive to work.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.
He asked a girl in a university library:
"Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right ?
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ... THAT'S ROBBERY!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy then whispered in her ear:
"I study law: I know how to screw people."
Rudolph went home a different deer that day.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Admins FIL Jokes Page 4
Admins FIL Jokes Page 4;
I take no responsibility for these offerings, just have a laugh or change the channel. lol.
How do you make a hanky dance?
Bring back the boogie.
Why did the woman take thalidomide tablets when she was knitting?
She wasn't very good at armholes.
Where do you take your 5 year old boy for a haircut?
Sandown park dogs.
What do you do when an Elephant is having periods?
Hide all the mattresses.
What's two & a half inches long, has 256 balls, & f#cks ducks?
A shotgun cartridge.
Why did the Lebanese bride not wear any underpants to her wedding?
To keep the flies off the wedding cake.
Did you here about the Med. student who went to hospital & found he had toxic shock syndrome.
How does an elephant cry?
Sits on it's bum & bawls.
What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
Two Australians were sitting around and talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while, the first Australian says to the second,"If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes, thinking real hard about the question.
Finally he says," well, I don't know about related, but I reckon it'd make us even!!!"
You can learn alot using Google, and the search button.....
I woke up this morning to find that overnight I'd changed into a cat....
Don't ask meow...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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