The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
allover (06-04-20),alpha0ne (02-04-20),dashinson (02-04-20),fandtm666 (02-04-20),fred49au (03-04-20),Godzilla (02-04-20),gulliver (02-04-20),hazman (02-04-20),hinekadon (02-04-20),humax300 (05-04-20),Keith (03-04-20),lsemmens (02-04-20),mandc (02-04-20),ol' boy (02-04-20),RogerTheDoger (02-04-20),SS Dave (02-04-20),william10 (02-04-20)
FEMALES FLOAT AROUND THE INTERNET BUT SOME MAY BE SURPRISED THAT THERE IS A WHOLE GROUP OF JOKES ABOUT MEN THAT MANY DO NOT SEE.
ENJOY THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN.
One day my housework-challenged Husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'Brisbane Broncos!'
And they say blondes are dumb...
______________________________ __________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.......
______________________________ ___________
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. 'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
______________________________ ______
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
______________________________ ___________
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
______________________________ __________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practising to be men.
______________________________ ___________
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
______________________________ ___________
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
______________________________ __________
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...
______________________________ ___________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
______________________________ ___________
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world...
...then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed.
______________________________ ___________
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Nôtre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!”
“No matter”, said the man, “Observe!”
He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety-five church steps to find that a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moment before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, “Bishop, who was this man?”
“I don't know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, “but his face rings a bell.”
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, “Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.”
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, but as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. “What has happened? Who is this man?” the first monk asked breathlessly. “I don't know his name,” sighed the distraught bishop, “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother!”
Good news for heavy sports gamblers...Only a couple of weeks til' the Two Flies Walking Up A Wall season begins.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Friday night 2019: This is living!
Friday night 2020: This is my living room
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Rock on
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
alpha0ne (07-04-20),dashinson (05-04-20),enf (05-04-20),fred49au (06-04-20),Godzilla (07-04-20),gulliver (06-04-20),hazman (06-04-20),hinekadon (05-04-20),Keith (06-04-20),lsemmens (06-04-20),mandc (06-04-20),NoAIR (06-04-20),ol' boy (05-04-20),OSIRUS (05-04-20),SS Dave (06-04-20),william10 (06-04-20)
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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