Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #9541
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    Students in a Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.

    The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.

    The question was worth 70 points, or none at all.

    One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

    However, he wrote:-

    It is perfect formula for the child.
    2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
    3) It is always the right temperature.
    4) It is inexpensive.
    5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
    6) It is always available as needed.

    And then the student was stuck.

    Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:-

    7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.



    He got 70 points..

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    A man goes to Alaska to hunt bears. He finds a nice brown bear, puts it in the sights of his rifle, and shoots it dead. There's a tap on his shoulder. He sees a black bear behind him.

    "I didn't like that," says the black bear. "I'm gonna give you a choice. I can either maul you to death or have sex with you." The man doesn't like his choices, but obviously chooses sex and gets raped by the black bear.

    He's sore for a few days, but once he recovers he goes back to Alaska, finds that same black bear, and shoots it dead with his rifle. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns to face a huge polar bear.

    "I didn't like that," says the polar bear. "You want to die or you want to have sex with me?" Again, the hunter accepts his fate and is raped by the bear. This sends him to the hospital, but eventually he recovers, returns to Alaska, finds that polar bear and shoots it dead. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see a gigantic grizzly bear.

    "You don't reeaaallyyy come here for the hunting, do you?"
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Man goes to his GP for an annual checkup ;

    man: "So tell me doctor, when do you think all this covid19 situation will be over?"

    doctor: "I couldn't tell you - I haven't spoken to a politician about it"


    =)

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