Friday Funnies With Admin's Father-In-Law
Admins FIL Jokes Page 9;
I take no responsibility for these offerings, yes some are offensive, just have a laugh or change the channel. lol.
What's brown & sits on a piano stool?
Beethovens fiirst movement.
What do you call a child raised in a house of ill repute?
A brothel sprout.
What's the difference between an elephant & an Italian Grandmother?
Twenty pounds & a black dress.
How do you separate the men from the boys in a gay bar?
With a crowbar.
How do you identify Dolly Parton's kids at a party?
They're the ones with stretch marks around their mouths.
What part of Popeye never rusts?
The part he puts in Olive Oyl
What do Linda Lovelace & the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They both swallow seamen.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Did you here about the queer deaf mute?
Neither did he.
What happened to the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his orders.
Why did they have to call off the lepers hockey game?
There was a face off in the corner.
Did you here about the man who had 5 pricks?
His pants fitted him like a glove.
What do promiscuous angels get?
Harpies.
What do you call a legless man water-skiing?
Skip.
What is an Italian Virgin?
A girl who can run faster than her brother.
What's worse than a lobster on your piano?
Crabs on your organ.
Did you here about the two Scottish gay's?
Ben Dover & Phil McCrevice.
What do you call an Irishman in a tree?
A branch manager.
Why can't Gypsies have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Do you know what the miracle of AIDS is?
It turns fruits into vegetables.
Why do women rub their eyes when they get out of bed in the morning?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why do female paratroopers wear jock straps?
So they don't whisle on the way down.
Did you here what happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
He got pised off.
Why are the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper similar?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.
What's a 72?
A 69 with three people watching.
What's a 69 & 69?
Dinner for four.
What's the difference between your sister & a Cadillac?
Most people haven't been in a Cadillac.
Cheers, Tiny
"You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
The information is out there; you just have to let it in."
Ramadan starts in a month.
Dan must be sh*tting himself.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A strange woman looked through my window this morning and saw me watching porn and masturbating furiously.
Thankfully after about ten seconds of shocked embarrassing silence the lights turned green.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
If THIS ever becomes an emoji....men already have!Originally Posted by cmangle
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.
At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing $10 in 50c coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.
At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.
'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'
'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'
The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:
'I think so. Provided those wankers at Boral deliver the ####ing bricks on time.'
A ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him.
One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years.
You have seen his wars and his technological advances. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."
The elder nodded in agreement. The official continued:
"Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?"
The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute and then he calmly replied:
"When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish,
Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sex."
Then the elder leaned back and smiled: "Only whitefella bloody stupid enough to think he could improve a system like that".
Marriage: Because that sh*t day you're having doesn't HAVE to end at work.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
You know, if you think about it, you can't blame Stormy Daniels for taking advantage of the current situation!
After all the money she is making from interviews, lawsuits(going to make?) and Soros has GOT to be easier to SWALLOW than previous life long endeavours!
Do us a favour cmangle and put this crap in a relevant thread somewhere please. It's not even remotely a joke. The only joke is Donalds lies that WE have to swallow, and apart from the odd meme we put it elsewhere.
Perhaps Donald should have done the same.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
"Dad, is it true you suck c*ck and take it up the arse?"
"Good heavens son, who on Earth has told you that?"
"My other dad, Elton. "
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
You Want Fries With That?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Whilst driving, I said to the wife, “You’ve been driving this haven’t you?”
“How do you know?”
I said, “Because the clutch is totally f*cked.”
“Well, don’t blame me, I never use it."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I've banned him.
He's had numerous warnings, infractions and even a temporary ban.
He's a serial troll... mostly just posts to inflame and incite arguments.
On 16 June 2016 he responded to an infraction for trolling, with:
He continued and received a temporary ban, more warnings and infractions.
On June 18 2016 he was given another chance in which I gave him a final warning.
He's had warnings since and has probably been cut more slack than just about anyone else on these forums, but enough is enough.
Now... back on topic.
Premium Member
LSemmens
Keep it on topic please.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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