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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may cause offense, read at your own risk

  1. #9421
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #9422
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    There's an upside to Facebook's hideous creation of the "Karens" out there; polluting the web with their f*cked up insights and opinions on anything and everything, always knowing best, with very little knowledge on any subject, never listening to advice from experts or changing their views when facts actually prove them to be wrong.

    Now single men can know exactly what it's like to be married.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #9423
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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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  • #9424
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    My daughter's boyfriend called her a slut, so I defended her honour.

    Which is more than she ever did.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Farrrk me enf you got me again.................a mouth full of tea n biccy's all of the desk !

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    The Fairy Queen and Noah.

    Being with out an opposite mate, "Fu-k me" screamed the fairy queen.

    So they lined up 2 by 2 and had their way.
    The flood came and the ark rose,capsized and sank.

    While swimming to Noah, The fairy queen, "your a lousy ark builder!"

    Noah " Arks fine, I calculated the ballast on water not jism."
    Last edited by hca; 29-06-20 at 02:43 AM.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    A guy comes home from work to the wife at the kitchen sink he says " saw a really beautiful Thai girl on the bus" she say "aum" then states " yep had to keep repeating in my head " Dont get a erection " dont get a erection , please dont get a erection Then #### she stood up and she had one
    are you a self appointed hypocrite sheriff or just a nasty person

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  • #9430
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    The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”

    The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”

    The old lady then asked,.....“Why?”

    The teller irritably told her, “These are Covid19 rules. Please leave if there is no other matter.

    There is a queue behind you.”

    She then returned the card to the old lady.

    The old lady remained silent…....but then she returned the card to the teller and said,

    “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”

    The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance.

    She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady,

    “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently.

    Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?”

    The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?”

    The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000”

    The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.

    The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.

    The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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