I was feeling super horny and needed some relief.
I asked the wife for sex and she said "No."
Whew!! What a relief that was.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A woman ran a red light and crashed into a man's car. Both cars were demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of the wreckage, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.?
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75-year-old scotch didn't break.
Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man.
The man nodded in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asked, "Aren't you having any?" She replied, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
You can learn alot using Google, and the search button.....
If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Seen last night on the news: "Dwarf pick-pocketed on 5th Ave."
What is this world coming to, I mean, who would stoop so low?
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Never use a GPS when going to a cemetery
It's not nice to hear "You have reached your destination"
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Listen, If drunk me said or did something, You Gotta take it up with drunk me.
Don't come at sober me because we were't there. We don't know what happened !!
SS Dave
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I was struggling with my GPS the other day, so in frustration I shouted at it GO TO HELL!!!Originally Posted by SS Dave
A half an hour later I found myself outside my mother-in-law's house.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
This notice can now be found in most French churches:
En entrant dans cette église, il est possible que vous entendiez l'appel de Dieu. Par contre, il n'est pas susceptible de vous contacter par téléphone. Merci d'avoir éteint votre téléphone. Si vous souhaitez parler à Dieu, entrez, choisissez un endroit tranquille et parle lui. Si vous souhaitez le voir, envoyez-lui un SMS en conduisant.
Translation: It is possible that on entering this church, you may hear the Call of God. On the other hand, it is not likely that he will contact you by phone. Thank you for turning off your phone. If you would like to talk to God, come in, choose a quiet place, and talk to him. If you would like to see him, send him a text while driving.
Q: Why does Dr Pepper come in a can?
A: Because his wife died.
True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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