Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I've just got my grandson a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what the daft little bastard wants with an ex box I'll never know.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced eleven husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married eleven times?"
Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him!
Husband #11 was a telecom site acquisition; he said that as there was a lot of clutter around the mound he wasn't sure that he could make a link. He then said that my breasts were another option but that he would need a cherry picker to do the job properly!
"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"'
'You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm really gonna get screwed!"
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. They always used to call him names,,,,,
So he killed 'em all!
Last edited by lsemmens; 06-12-20 at 02:47 PM.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Argentina wants to put Maradonas face on a banknote.
Can't help thinking that maybe the credit card companies missed an opportunity there.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Every item 99 cents! Unless of course, it’s even less! Though it could be more!... LOL
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
like bugs
From the Golden State…the land of fruits and nuts!!
The California Highway Patrol in the Los Angelesarea recently found some amusement filling out accident reports in a series of car accidents.
As it turned out, drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles upon seeing a giant female pussy displayed on the front part of an oncoming car.
The CHP started frantically looking for the dangerous mobile pubis and came upon the tracks of a young art student named Nelly Node. Nelly's passion for the arts made the young woman photograph her own crotch and put the enlarged photo on her Volkswagen Beetle.
Nelly was preparing for her college course work in which she analyzed the art of design. She was proudly driving her 'vaginal beetle' until the CHP arrested the woman. The court ruled that Nelly's car was creating a dangerous situation on the roads. The girl had to paint over her car's hood.
Here's a picture of her VW before she had to repaint it.
She, obviously, "Muffed" her chance at fame ...
Thank god it got "Snatched" off the road by the "Fuzz" before someone else had a needless "Crack" up...
Last edited by hinekadon; 12-12-20 at 09:41 AM. Reason: more
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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