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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may cause offense, read at your own risk

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Teaching Arithmetic In 1950s

    A timber cutter sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production
    is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit


    2. Teaching Maths In 1970s


    A timber cutter sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production
    is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

    3. Teaching Maths In 1980s





    A timber cutter sells a truckload of timber for £100.
    His cost of production is £80 Did he make a profit ?
    Yes or No

    4. Teaching Maths In 1990s


    A timber cutter sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production
    is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    5. Teaching Maths In 2000s


    A timber cutter cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
    inconsiderate and cares nothing
    for the habitat of animals or the
    preservation of our woodlands.
    He does this so he can make a profit of
    £20. What do you think of this
    way of making a living? Topic for
    class participation after
    answering the question: How did the birds
    and squirrels feel as the logger
    cut down their homes? (There are no
    wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g, anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc.)

    Should you require debriefing at conclusion of exam there are counsellors available to assist you adjust back into the real world.

    6. Teaching Maths In 2050


    هاتشيرو تبيع كارلواد من نهاب10 0 دولار. تكلفة الإنتاج هو80 دولاراً. كيف الكثيرمن المال ولم؟
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    I'm not sure if you all knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBTI... You'll probably offend someone.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    thanks dr mohs the joke is the wallerbies no bent frog ref just a fair bok ref
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    John: So, what's the verdict doc?

    Doctor: Well, I regret to inform you John, you have an STD again.

    John: Aaaah damn. Really? What do I have this time?

    Doctor: You have Hessian-disease.

    John: Hessian-disease?

    Doctor: Yep, you get it from f*cking old bags.
    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    A secondary school teacher was arrested yesterday at London's Heathrow International airport as he attempted to board an international flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a pair of compasses, a slide-rule and a calculator.

    At a press conference, a UK Border Control spokesman said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.
    He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

    'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Spokesman said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns;" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

    As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle.”
    In Washington, when asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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    Joke Thread seems right
    If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!

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    El cockwad wankerados!!
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    From my hotel room I dialed the number of the local brothel. A silky-voiced woman asked how she could be of any assistance.

    I got straight to the point and explained I wanted a dominatrix, spanking, leather, PVC, and a long, slow blow job.

    She replied, “For an outside number, please press 9 first. Thank you Mr Jones”.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Recently seen on a WELLNESS QUESTIONNAIRE for men
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

    "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded wife?" Y: ____ N: ____
    "Do you promise to love her, cherish her and hold her?" Y: ____ N: ____
    "Do you promise to do so, all the days of your life, until death do you part?" Y: ____ N: ____

    If you answered YES to any one of these questions, then...well you're pretty much f*cked.
    Usually we say "speak to your doctor" but not even he can save you this time.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    True freedom is the greatest gift a man can possess, yet is the one thing most easily and innocently given away, to crafty curses and binds cleverly disguised as blessings and gifts, in the pursuit of supposed achievement, status and power.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    What’s the difference between a snarling Rottweiler sinking its teeth into next door’s cat, and my wife complaining about me chatting up the barmaid at our local?

    The Rottweiler will eventually let it go.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Ooohhh! You are NORTY!
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    MEMO TO: ALL STAFF
    FROM :
    SUBJECT :

    Due to the current financial situation and probably the future, management has decided to implement a scheme to put all workers over 35 on early retirement. Scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personal Early)


    Persons selected to be Raped can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help Scheme After Retirement) Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme for Retired Early Workers). A person may be Raped only once. Shafted twice and Screwed as many times as management deems appropriate.


    Persons who have been Raped can apply to get AIDS (Additional Income for dependant or spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have Aids or Herpes will not be Shafted or Screwed any further by management.


    Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided it’s self for the amount of Shit it gives it’s employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough Shit, please bring it to the attention of your supervisor. He has been trained to give you all the Shit your can handle.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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