Reply With Quotemtv (23-05-21)
Not necessary to make a comment like that...by my reckoning, about 60% of jokes are recycled accidentally by the members, including me. There is no need to lecture others.Originally Posted by lsemmens
Hazman already posted that one a couple of days ago! If you want to make it in comedy, you've got to come up wit some ORIGINAL material!
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
mtv (23-05-21)
Why does the river Clyde run through Glasgow?
If it walked, it'd get stabbed.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The tragic situation in India has spawned a new covid variant, the Vindaflu....
The government have started rolling out a new vaccine called the Punjab.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Human kind finally united with a common goal...
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man, sitting there, said, “I've not eaten for two days.”
I told him, “I wish, I had your will power!”
I took my biology exam last Friday.
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "young blacks" and "Romanian gypsies" were not the correct answers.
A fat girl took a while to serve me in McDonald's at lunch time today.
She said, “Sorry about the wait.”
I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually.”
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?”
I said “No, you're still black”.
Snow in the forecast!
The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!"
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man asks him, “What’s wrong?”
The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.
“Oh bejaysus," the man says.
“Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”
The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment..”
Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.
I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days, when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus, and think to yourself, "I'm gonna take that!"
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland.
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him, “Where am I ?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, "You can't fool me. You're in that basket up there."
I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question,----which I got wrong.
The question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair ?"
Apparently the correct answer was Fiji .
A woman has a medical at the doctors...
“You are grossly overweight,” he says.
"I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims.
"OK. You're bloody ugly as well.”
That should more or less offend everyone -- job done!
CHEERS DON
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Pop-up ad on ebay....trying to sell 'power savers' that you plug into your GPO to get PFC that'll (not) save you money
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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