Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. 11-08-20, 07:01 AM #9561
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  • 11-08-20, 10:15 AM #9562
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    I love the first proper drink of the day. I love the tinkle of ice in the glass, and how the gin swirls around it. I love the fizz of the tonic as I pour it, and the splash of the lemon slice. I love the moment when I sit back, relax, sip it and reflect on the wonders of life.

    But the wife always ruins it, carping on about "there's work to be done" and "you're drinking too much."

    F*ck me, why is she even up at 6am?
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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  • 11-08-20, 11:04 AM #9563
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    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
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  • 11-08-20, 11:07 AM #9564
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  • 11-08-20, 11:09 AM #9565
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    Last edited by lsemmens; 11-08-20 at 11:11 AM.
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  • 11-08-20, 04:52 PM #9566
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  • 11-08-20, 04:53 PM #9567
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  • 11-08-20, 09:35 PM #9568
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  • 12-08-20, 12:01 AM
    Reschs

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    Again... this section is not open to comments/discussion... only jokes.
  • 12-08-20, 07:53 AM #9569
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  • 12-08-20, 08:58 AM #9570
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  • 12-08-20, 08:23 PM #9571
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  • 13-08-20, 07:29 AM #9572
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  • 13-08-20, 09:44 AM #9573
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    Since my deaf dad developed arthritis in his hands and fingers he’s been in unspeakable pain.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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  • 13-08-20, 12:03 PM #9574
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    I don't like the term anal bleaching....


    I much prefer the term changing your ringtone
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  • 13-08-20, 08:29 PM #9575
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  • 14-08-20, 07:30 AM #9576
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  • 14-08-20, 08:38 AM #9577
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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  • 14-08-20, 12:52 PM #9578
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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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  • 14-08-20, 10:27 PM #9579
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  • 15-08-20, 07:17 AM #9580
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