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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may cause offense, read at your own risk

  1. #8781
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    You trying to save bandwidth Hazman? Those images are tiny!
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...



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    [url=https://postimages.org/]
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    An old man is walking in Perth and passes a hooker standing at her door. She asks him: "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"

    He replies: "No girl, that's no longer possible for me."

    Says the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!"

    So he made up his mind and they both go inside. They undress and he performs like a young buck, 5 times in a row.

    "Oh my goodness", says the hooker, breathless, "and you said that SEX was no longer possible for you?!

    Says the old guy: "Oh, the sex part is still going well, it's the PAYMENT that is no longer possible!
    . Please treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.

    Youre coming home now! she screamed.

    No, Im not, I laughed.

    She said, I'm not talking to you Im talking to the kids.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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  • #8786
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Also good for those with verbal diarrhoea.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #8792
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Haley Joel Osment who starred in The Sixth Sense was asked to give his reaction to the 39 found frozen to death in the back of a lorry in Essex.

    "Icy dead people" he was heard to say.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    39 people have just realised that Trip Advisor needs updating.

    The four stars wasn't a hotel guide, it was the freezer rating.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    The Fridge 39 are probably walking round Heaven now, thinking "f*cking hell Britain is awesome".
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    If theres 3.8 billion women on earth - why isnt it clean yet?
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Why don't vegetarians moan during sex ?

    Because they don't wan't to admit that a piece of meat makes them happy.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    ..
    If u want to go on an expedition get a Land Rover, if u want to come home from an expedition get a Landcruiser!

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    Someone once called me illiterate.

    Bullsh!t!! My parents had been married for three years before they had me.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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