The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
I was going to quit all my bad habits but then it occurred to me- no one likes a quitter.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. Just after she started playing her first round, she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help.
Her golf pro Graham: "Why are you back in so early? Whats wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee."
Graham: "Where?"
"Between the first and second hole."
Graham: " Aaaaah...then your feet were too far apart."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Being a little older,
I am very fortunate to have
someone call and
check on me every day.
He is from India and is
very concerned about
my computer.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
A king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the King and the Queen went fishing.
On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."
The King replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast.I trusthim."So the King continued on his way.
However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the King returned to the palace, and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting.I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that...it will rain."
So the King hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
The practice is unbroken to this date...
I was enjoying a spicy burger at the food court.
A vegetarian looked at my burger and said, "You know, a cow died so you could have that burger."
I looked at his salad and responded, "The cow died because you keep eating all its food!"
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Make sure you read your computer PSU warranty card carefully;
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
So one villager reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.
Doc: What're you here for?
Villager: The vasectomy camp.
D: Oh ok. How many kids do you have?
V: None. I am not even married!!
D (shocked) : Then why do you want a vasectomy?
V: Every man in the village got it done over the last few years. Now whenever their wives conceive, they come and beat me up.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
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