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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

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  • #10982
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #10985
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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Only dropped once.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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  • 18-09-21, 10:48 PM

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    A reminder yet again... no comments.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    'impact gun' .... =)


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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

    1. Feed him
    2. Sleep with him
    3. Leave him in peace
    4. Don't check his phone (Messages)
    5. Don't bother him with his movements
    6. Clean the house
    7. Wash his clothes


    HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

    You only needs to be:
    1. You need to be a friend
    2. You have to be a companion
    3. You have to be a lover
    4. You have to be a brother
    5. You have to be a father
    6. You will be a master
    7. You must be a chef
    8. You have to be an electrician
    9. You have to be a plumber
    10. You should learn to be a mechanic
    11. You should also be a carpenter
    12. You need to be a decorator
    13. You should be a stylist
    14. You have to be a sexologist
    15. You also have to be a gynecologist
    16. You need be a psychologist
    17. You must be a pest exterminator
    18. You must be a psychiatrist
    19. You need to be a healer
    20. You need to be a good listener
    21. You have to be an organizer
    22. You should learn to be a good father
    23. You should be very clean
    24. You must be sympathetic
    25. You need to be anathletic
    26. you have to be warm
    27. you need to be attentive
    28. you have to be gallant
    29. You must be intelligent
    30. You must be funny
    31. You must be very creative
    32. You must love her tenderly
    33. You need to be strong
    34. You must be understanding, whether you like it or not
    35. You need to be tolerant
    36. You must prudent
    37. You must be ambitious
    38. You must be capable
    39. You must be courageous
    40. You must be determined
    41. You must be true
    42. You have to be dependable
    43. You must be passionate
    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
    44. You must give her compliments regularly
    45. You must tell her you love her always
    46. You need to go shopping with her
    47. You have to be honest
    48. You must not stress her out
    49. You must not look at other girls
    50. You need to give her lots of attention
    52. You must give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    52. You have to give her a lot of time to do whatever she wants to do
    53. You must hate whoever she tells you she hates
    54. You must always respect her parents
    55. You should not to ask for change when you give money to buy something.
    .
    My phone battery is low, I'll continue when I charge it.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Become a Premium Member and support the Austech Forum

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    A guy, on his wedding night is about to get it on with his newly wed for the first time in their hotel.

    They start to undress and he says, “God, I never realised that your tits were this small.”

    The wife gets all upset and understandably throws him out.

    While he is sitting in the lobby another guy comes down the hall. The first man said, “Hey, What happened?”

    “Well, I saw my wife naked for the first time tonight and all I said was, ‘Oh I never knew your arse was that big.’ and she threw me out just like that.

    Just then a third guy, also on his wedding night, comes storming into the lobby.

    “Hey, did you put your foot in it as well?” ask the first two men.

    “No,” says the third guy, “but I f*cking could have.”
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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