The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

**SS Dave** · 22-09-21, 10:02 AM

**enf** · 22-09-21, 01:30 PM

**SS Dave** · 22-09-21, 03:37 PM

**mtv** · 22-09-21, 03:53 PM

I ran up the back of a car the other day.

The driver of the other car was a dwarf and he stormed up to my car and yelled... "I'm not happy!"

I said: So which one are you then?

That's how the fight started.

**enf** · 22-09-21, 04:28 PM

**SS Dave** · 23-09-21, 09:15 AM

**enf** · 24-09-21, 01:48 PM

**SS Dave** · 25-09-21, 11:49 AM

**SS Dave** · 25-09-21, 11:56 AM

**wotnot** · 25-09-21, 12:26 PM

PVP video game ..or is it a joke?

**hazman** · 25-09-21, 12:45 PM

**hazman** · 25-09-21, 12:47 PM

**NoAIR** · 25-09-21, 11:46 PM

The French - Collective Forgetfulness or National Arrogance?

.

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:

'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply

Emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day.

They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied,

'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's, South Africans, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The Englishman said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained,

''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

You could have heard a pin drop.

**SS Dave** · 26-09-21, 10:54 AM

**SS Dave** · 26-09-21, 10:58 AM

**SS Dave** · 26-09-21, 11:01 AM

**SS Dave** · 26-09-21, 11:03 AM

**SS Dave** · 27-09-21, 02:37 PM

**SS Dave** · 27-09-21, 02:38 PM

**wotnot** · 27-09-21, 10:22 PM

Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

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