Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #11041
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11042
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11044
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    Me to the wife "hey, are you in the mood?"

    Wife "Which particular f*cking mood are you referring to?" she snapped.

    "Sigh! I'll take that as a no then..."
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11046
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    Quote Originally Posted by enf View Post
    Me to the wife "hey, are you in the mood?"

    Wife "Which particular f*cking mood are you referring to?" she snapped.

    "Sigh! I'll take that as a no then..."
    If she said that, I'd take it as a resounding YES!!!

    You can visit me in hospital...........

    (note to mods: meant as a laugh. NOT commentary!)
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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  • #11047
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    Joke of the Day....

    Facebook, Instagram, Messenger all down....
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11048
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    "I will look for you, I will find you, and I WILL kill you."

    And just like that, Liam Neesons grandson didn't nag him to play hide and seek anymore.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11050
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    William Shatner.

    To oldly go where ........
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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