Feminism (n): the fast-food of ideologies: mass produced, low quality, highly fattening garbage.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband’s Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.
“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward. The third-floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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The health body NICE have recommended that your waist should be less than half your height.
?
How the f*ck do they expect me to grow to 8 foot 6?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate, Mick, when a truck drove past carrying rolls of turf.
Paddy said: "I gonna do dat when I win da lottery".
"What's dat?" said Mick.
"Send me lawn away to get cut" says Paddy.
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What do you call a transgender whale?
Maybe Dick
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Our hopeful future PM, Albo walked into a bank to cash a cheque.
When he’s called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
The teller replied, "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Albo said, "Truthfully, I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I’m the leader of the Labor Party of Australia."
The teller said, "Yes sir, I know who you are... but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors, forgers, and requirements of the legislation etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Albo said, “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they’ll tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
The teller said, "I’m sorry, Mr Albanese, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them"
Getting a bit agitated, Albo snapped, “C'mon woman, I’m urging you, please, to cash this cheque.."
The teller said, "Look Mr Albanese, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods, he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.
"Another time, Patrick Rafter came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, Mr Albanese, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"
Albo stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank... there’s nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do... and I don't have a clue."
With a big smile, the teller said, "Will that be large or small notes, Mr Albanese?
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Please consider Premium Membership. Without Premium Member contributions Austech cannot operate.
Please consider Premium Membership. Without Premium Member contributions Austech cannot operate.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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