Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #11621
    Premium Member
    wotnot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Scenic Rim, SE Qld
    Posts
    3,267
    Thanks
    1,474
    Thanked 2,960 Times in 1,525 Posts
    Rep Power
    1346
    Reputation
    59210

    Default

    Found this in a package that arrived today ~ the item was bought on ebay =)


  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to wotnot For This Useful Post:

    enf (12-05-22),gulliver (12-05-22),hazman (12-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (13-05-22),william10 (12-05-22)



  • #11622
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (12-05-22),hazman (12-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (12-05-22),william10 (12-05-22)

  • #11623
    Premium Member
    SS Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    North Canberra
    Age
    63
    Posts
    2,124
    Thanks
    5,314
    Thanked 7,964 Times in 1,287 Posts
    Rep Power
    3355
    Reputation
    155622

    Default

    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to SS Dave For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (13-05-22),enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (13-05-22),hazman (13-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (12-05-22),wotnot (12-05-22)

  • #11624
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (13-05-22),hazman (13-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),NoAIR (13-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (13-05-22),william10 (13-05-22),wotnot (14-05-22)

  • #11625
    Premium Member
    SS Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    North Canberra
    Age
    63
    Posts
    2,124
    Thanks
    5,314
    Thanked 7,964 Times in 1,287 Posts
    Rep Power
    3355
    Reputation
    155622

    Default

    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to SS Dave For This Useful Post:

    enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (13-05-22),hazman (13-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (13-05-22)

  • #11626
    Premium Member
    SS Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    North Canberra
    Age
    63
    Posts
    2,124
    Thanks
    5,314
    Thanked 7,964 Times in 1,287 Posts
    Rep Power
    3355
    Reputation
    155622

    Default

    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to SS Dave For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (13-05-22),enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (13-05-22),hazman (13-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (13-05-22),wotnot (14-05-22)

  • #11627
    Premium Member
    SS Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    North Canberra
    Age
    63
    Posts
    2,124
    Thanks
    5,314
    Thanked 7,964 Times in 1,287 Posts
    Rep Power
    3355
    Reputation
    155622

    Default

    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

  • The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to SS Dave For This Useful Post:

    enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (13-05-22),hazman (13-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),shred (13-05-22),william10 (13-05-22)

  • #11628
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,026
    Thanks
    7,370
    Thanked 12,511 Times in 1,803 Posts
    Rep Power
    5268
    Reputation
    250124

    Default


  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (13-05-22),enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (13-05-22),william10 (13-05-22)

  • #11629
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,026
    Thanks
    7,370
    Thanked 12,511 Times in 1,803 Posts
    Rep Power
    5268
    Reputation
    250124

    Default


  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    enf (13-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (14-05-22),Keith (13-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),NoAIR (13-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (13-05-22),william10 (13-05-22),wotnot (14-05-22)

  • #11630
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (14-05-22),hazman (14-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),mtv (14-05-22),NoAIR (14-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (15-05-22),william10 (15-05-22),wotnot (14-05-22)

  • #11631
    Administrator
    mtv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    19,908
    Thanks
    7,518
    Thanked 15,074 Times in 6,765 Posts
    Rep Power
    5651
    Reputation
    239465

    Default

    An old gentleman is standing at the gates of Heaven trying to remember his name so St Peter can look it up in the Big Book.

    Peter isn’t sure what to do, so he asks Jesus for help.

    Jesus says to the man, “Tell us about your life, maybe that will jog your memory.”

    The old man says, “Well, I had one child, a son.”

    Jesus smiles, “Oh, I was an only child. Go on.”

    “I was … some kind of woodworker – a carpenter, perhaps,” says the man.

    Jesus says, “Huh, another coincidence. Can you remember anything else?”

    The old man shakes his head and says, “You might not believe it but my son came to life by a miracle!”

    Jesus’ jaw drops, he smiles and tears come to his eyes. “Father?” he asks.

    The old man’s eyes open wide, “Pinocchio?”
    Please consider Premium Membership. Without Premium Member contributions Austech cannot operate.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to mtv For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (15-05-22),enf (14-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),GerP64 (21-05-22),gulliver (14-05-22),hazman (15-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),NoAIR (14-05-22),william10 (15-05-22),wotnot (14-05-22)

  • #11632
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    + Show/Hide list of the thanked

    ammlione (15-05-22),fred49au (15-05-22),gulliver (15-05-22),hazman (15-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),NoAIR (16-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (15-05-22),Tiny (15-05-22),william10 (15-05-22),wotnot (22-05-22)

  • #11633
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,026
    Thanks
    7,370
    Thanked 12,511 Times in 1,803 Posts
    Rep Power
    5268
    Reputation
    250124

    Default


  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    enf (15-05-22),gulliver (15-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),NoAIR (16-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (15-05-22),william10 (15-05-22)

  • #11634
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    fred49au (20-05-22),gulliver (17-05-22),hazman (16-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),NoAIR (16-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (15-05-22),william10 (16-05-22),wotnot (21-05-22)

  • #11635
    Premium Member
    hazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lurking at the teakdoor
    Posts
    2,026
    Thanks
    7,370
    Thanked 12,511 Times in 1,803 Posts
    Rep Power
    5268
    Reputation
    250124

    Default


  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to hazman For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (17-05-22),enf (17-05-22),fred49au (20-05-22),gulliver (17-05-22),Keith (17-05-22),macca (17-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (18-05-22),william10 (18-05-22)

  • #11636
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    gulliver (18-05-22),hazman (18-05-22),Keith (21-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (21-05-22),william10 (18-05-22),wotnot (21-05-22)

  • #11637
    Premium Member
    SS Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    North Canberra
    Age
    63
    Posts
    2,124
    Thanks
    5,314
    Thanked 7,964 Times in 1,287 Posts
    Rep Power
    3355
    Reputation
    155622

    Default

    Whoever the photographer was they deserve a prize for the vibrant colours and play of light in this pic!!

    Last edited by SS Dave; 18-05-22 at 07:28 AM.
    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

  • The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to SS Dave For This Useful Post:

    enf (18-05-22),fred49au (20-05-22),gulliver (18-05-22),hazman (18-05-22),Keith (21-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),NoAIR (18-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (18-05-22),wotnot (21-05-22)

  • #11638
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    ammlione (20-05-22),gulliver (20-05-22),hazman (20-05-22),Keith (21-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),NoAIR (21-05-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (20-05-22),wotnot (21-05-22)

  • #11639
    Super Moderator
    enf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Age
    70
    Posts
    17,788
    Thanks
    16,844
    Thanked 35,062 Times in 9,090 Posts
    Rep Power
    13719
    Reputation
    646449

    Default

    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

  • The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to enf For This Useful Post:

    gulliver (22-05-22),hazman (21-05-22),Keith (21-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),william10 (22-05-22),wotnot (21-05-22)

  • #11640
    Premium Member
    wotnot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Scenic Rim, SE Qld
    Posts
    3,267
    Thanks
    1,474
    Thanked 2,960 Times in 1,525 Posts
    Rep Power
    1346
    Reputation
    59210

    Default

    Damn!....is YT trying to eradicate our English?


  • The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to wotnot For This Useful Post:

    enf (21-05-22),hazman (21-05-22),Keith (21-05-22),mtv (11-06-22),OSIRUS (24-05-22),SS Dave (21-05-22),william10 (22-05-22)

  • Page 582 of 636 FirstFirst ... 82482532572573574575576577578579580581582583584585586587588589590591592632 ... LastLast

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •