Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Don't forget to see your grandparents this Christmas.
It's always good to remind yourself that there is someone more racist than you.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
BBC reporting that British police officers at the World Cup will act as 'buffers' for LGBTI fans.
Get it right BBC... the correct terminology is 'fluffers' .. 'fluffers'
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Well, it offends me! Why isn't it 1/3 White, 1/3 Black, and 1/3 Yellow?
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
My thoughts go out to my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face.
Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the spade.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
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The boss phoned and said, "Why aren't you at work?"
"My girlfriend is going to have a baby," I replied.
"Congratulations," he said, "is it a boy or girl?"
"Dunno" I replied, "I'll tell you in nine months."
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.
Police Officer Test
How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and aScottishpolice officer? The answer is found below.
QUESTION:You’re a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?
ANSWERS:
Canadian Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
5) Am I dressed provocatively?
6) Could I run away?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?
8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?
Australian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knife reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"
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