Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #11021
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    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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  • #11022
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11027
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    The wife was always moaning that I'm lazy and how I have it easy at work, so I challenged her to swap for a day.

    She got the sack, whereas I got my nails done and f*cked the postman.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    Become a Premium Member and support the Austech Forum

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    Become a Premium Member and support the Austech Forum

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11031
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11032
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    customer complaint: 'Android tablet not charging'



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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    The Queen takes the visiting Pope for a ride in a horse carriage through London. Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly.

    “Oh my goodness, I am so terribly sorry!” apologises the embarrassed Queen.

    “Oh don’t worry about it,” the Pope replied. “If you hadn’t said anything, I’d have just thought it was one of the horses!”

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  • 02-10-21, 11:19 AM

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  • #11039
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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