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Thread: The Joke thread - Some jokes may offend, read at own risk. Jokes only, no comments.

  1. #11181
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  • #11182
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    My doctor was very concerned when I called him after three weeks to say I finally managed to obtain what he requested.


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  • #11183
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11184
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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11185
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    I just don't know what the world is coming to. A bit of friendly banter between mates never hurt anyone. We had an aboriginal lad working with us back in the nineties and we always called him things like Chocco or Golly and made jokes about him raping and stealing, but he always took it in the spirit of fun that it was intended.

    And if the poor f*cker hadn't developed depression and hung himself in 2001 I'm absolutely sure he'd back me up on that.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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  • #11186
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    Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick. Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. However, Nick had a deep secret. He had a desire to sleep with the queen.

    One day while having a few drinks, he revealed his inner desire to his friend Horace. Horace was the king’s most trusted minister and all he desired was gold. He made a deal with Nick, saying that he would give Nick an opportunity to sleep with the queen in return for 1,000 gold coins. Nick agreed.

    The next day while the queen was taking a bath, Horace went to the room where the queen’s clothes were laid out and put some itching powder in her bra. The queen started itching and wailing in agony and the king promised a hefty reward to any man who can put an end to the pain.

    Horace had given Nick the antidote, told him to put it on his tongue and lick away. Nick showed up in the King’s court and said that he could cure her if he had a few hours alone with her, the king had no other choice but to agree. Nick had his fun and the queen was healed. The king rewarded Nick quite handsomely and sent him on his way.

    When Horace showed up at Nick’s doorstep the following day demanding the gold coins he was promised, Nick wasn’t willing to pay. He said Horace could do nothing or else both of them would be in serious trouble. Horace warned Nick of dire consequences, but to no avail.

    The next day, while the king was taking a bath, Horace placed some itching powder in the King’s underwear.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    My housemate brought this to my attention today, and somewhere deep inside me, I'm thinking from that part of my genetic memory I inherited from my greatest Irish forefather who came from County Cork and was transported to the penal colony of Australia for stealing a horse in Derbyshire, saw this and screamed...


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    Quote Originally Posted by wotnot View Post
    My housemate brought this to my attention today, and somewhere deep inside me, I'm thinking from that part of my genetic memory I inherited from my greatest Irish forefather who came from County Cork and was transported to the penal colony of Australia for stealing a horse in Derbyshire, saw this and screamed...

    Calm your farm.....it's just a covering of potato blight.
    The fact that there's a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic flow.

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    I was upset when I found out that I hadn't got the promotion at work. They gave it to Sally who is 20 years older than me and very attractive.

    My friends told me get over it and to stop crying over skilled milf.
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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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    Death smiles at everyone. Grumpy old men smile back.

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