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Thread: So you think your sh*t doesn't stink.

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    Default So you think your sh*t doesn't stink.

    There is probably a good scientific reason for this and I'm sure it will be thrashed out here along with many humourous suggestions.

    When you leave the bathroom after a library session why is it that you think that it still smells as sweet as when you went in whereas the next occupant will probably have lots to say about what has crawled up where and expired. It is interesting to note that just the opposite occurrs if you pass wind, accidentally of course, you will the first to suffer an assault on the nasal passages.



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    Usually your Farts give you away,

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    Some people Smoke in there as well, & I think it kills the smell a bit in some way,

    I also knew a guy who drank his Coffee in there, (after a big night out & had to work the next day) ha ha .....
    Last edited by OSIRUS; 08-02-11 at 08:29 PM.
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    I know my shit stinks, but I know how much you all love it.
    Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by trash View Post
    I know my shit stinks, but I know how much you all love it.
    That amigo, is the most esoteric comment that I've read ever!



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    Conversely: if you think your shit stinks too much, it's probably because your nose is just too damn close to it.
    #I don't stereotype people, not like most of you do.#

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    I know mine stinks , the kids have no delay in telling everyone about it.

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    its like that old joke. q) why do farts (nb:I hate that word) smell. a) so the deaf can enjoy them.

    Use a 'match', cheapest air freshener their is
    If you feed ducks at a pond, chances are your bound to feed a goose or two without even knowing it.

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    People often tell me that they like the smell of my shit....

    ...but I reckon it's because the smell is covered by black powder solvent and gun oil.

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    Quote Originally Posted by z1gg33 View Post
    ...

    Use a 'match', cheapest air freshener their is
    There we have the etymology of the the colloquial exclamation "Strike a light!" Which, sadly, is now becoming lost with the up'n coming McGenerations.

    BTW it's the sulphur in the match head that does the trick.
    #I don't stereotype people, not like most of you do.#

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    never knew 'Strike a light' meant that.
    cheers

    have friends in the country that have matches in the loo..... always did the job as far as I'm concerned... 20+ years now.
    If you feed ducks at a pond, chances are your bound to feed a goose or two without even knowing it.

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    To quote Forest Gump & the federal liberal leader, Tony Abbot...

    "shit happens"


    Sorry - I couldn't help myself
    Reality is an invention of my imagination.
    ಠ_ಠ

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    lol! nice .... will pay that

    edit: link
    If you feed ducks at a pond, chances are your bound to feed a goose or two without even knowing it.

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    on Nat Portman..... (sorry taken out of context... but you get the idea...was quite allot of other things but made the upload too big.) Sorry Off topic....
    (video) 2010 Standup

    1m20sec (23M)
    Last edited by z1gg33; 09-02-11 at 07:12 PM.
    If you feed ducks at a pond, chances are your bound to feed a goose or two without even knowing it.

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    Shit
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    This article is about the word "shit". For the waste product, see feces. For the egestion of bodily wastes, see defecation.
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    This article needs additional citations for verification.
    Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (February 2009)
    Feces from Bactrian Camel(s)

    Shit is usually considered a vulgarity and profanity in Modern English. As a noun it refers to fecal matter (excrement) and as a verb it means to defecate or defecate in; in the plural ("the shits") it means diarrhea. Shite is also a common variant in British English and Ireland English.[1] As a slang term, it has many meanings, including: nonsense, foolishness, something of little value or quality, trivial and usually boastful or inaccurate talk, or a contemptible person. It may also be used as an expression of annoyance, surprise, or anger.
    Contents
    [hide]

    1 Etymology
    1.1 False etymology
    2 Usage
    2.1 Vague noun
    2.2 Surprise
    2.3 Trouble
    2.4 Displeasure
    2.5 Dominance
    2.6 Positive attitude
    2.7 Shortening of bullshit
    2.8 Emphasis
    2.9 Drug usage
    2.10 The verb “to shit”
    2.11 Backronyms
    3 Usage in English media
    3.1 Television
    3.1.1 United Kingdom
    3.1.2 Canada
    3.1.3 United States
    4 See also
    5 References
    6 External links

    Etymology

    The word is likely derived from Old English, having the nouns scite (dung, attested only in place names) and scitte (diarrhoea), and the verb scītan (to defecate, attested only in bescītan, to cover with excrement); eventually it morphed into Middle English schītte (excrement), schyt (diarrhoea) and shiten (to defecate), and it is virtually certain that it was used in some form by preliterate Germanic tribes at the time of the Roman Empire. The word may be further traced to Proto-Germanic *skit-, and ultimately to Proto-Indo-European *skheid-. The word has several cognates in modern Germanic languages, such as German Scheisse, Dutch schijt, Swedish skit, Icelandic skítur, Norwegian skitt etc. Ancient Greek had 'skor' (gen. 'skatos' hence 'scato-'), from Proto-Indo-European *sker-, which is likely unrelated.[2]
    False etymology

    A popular belief is that the word shit originated as an acronym for "Ship High In Transit", referring to the apparent need to stow manure well above the water line when transporting it by ship. This has been shown to be a myth.[3][4]
    Usage

    The word shit (or sometimes shite in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Ireland, Northern England and Wales) is used by English speakers, but it is usually avoided in formal speech. Minced oath substitutes for the word shit in English include sugar and shoot.

    In the word's literal sense, it has a rather small range of common usages. An unspecified or collective occurrence of feces is generally shit or some shit; a single deposit of feces is sometimes a shit or a piece of shit, and to defecate is to shit, to take a shit and a new variant to leave a shit. While it is common to speak of shit as existing in a pile, a load, a hunk and other quantities and configurations, such expressions flourish most strongly in the figurative. For practical purposes, when actual defecation and excreta are spoken of in English, it is either through creative euphemism or with a vague and fairly rigid literalism.

    "Shit" can also be combined with other words to denote the type of feces one has. For instance, "Snake shit" describes feces that are long and thin in shape, thus reminiscent of a snake's appearance.

    Shit carries an encompassing variety of figurative meanings, explained in the following sections.
    Vague noun

    Shit can be used as a generic mass noun similar to stuff; for instance, This show is funny shit or This test is hard shit, or That was stupid shit. These three usages (with funny, hard, and stupid or another synonym of stupid) are heard most commonly in the United States.

    In Get your shit together! the word shit may refer to some set of personal belongings or tools, or to one's wits, composure, or attention to the task at hand. He doesn't have his shit together suggests he is failing rather broadly, with the onus laid to multiple personal shortcomings, rather than bad luck or outside forces.

    To shoot the shit is to have a friendly but pointless conversation, as in "Come by my place some time and we'll shoot the shit."
    Surprise

    To shit oneself, or to shit bricks can be used to refer to surprise or fear. The latter form can be commonly seen in a form of Internet meme which goes by the phrase when you see it, you will shit bricks, used in connection with an image of a busy scene with an often unnoticed laughing face or disturbing object which is hard to see until you study the picture.[citation needed]

    The word can also be used to represent anger, as in Jim is totally going to flip his shit when he sees that we wrecked his marriage.[citation needed]
    Trouble

    Shit can be used to denote trouble, by saying one is in a lot of shit or deep shit. It's common for someone to refer to an unpleasant thing as hard shit (You got a speeding ticket? Man, that's some hard shit), but the phrase tough shit is used as an unsympathetic way of saying too bad to whoever is having problems (You got arrested? Tough shit, man!) or as a way of expressing to someone that they need to stop complaining about something and just deal with it (Billy: I got arrested because of you! Tommy: Tough shit, dude, you knew you might get arrested when you chose to come with me.) Note that in this case, as in many cases with the term, tough shit is often said as a way of pointing out someone's fault in his/her own current problem.

    When the shit hits the fan is usually used to refer to a specific time of confrontation or trouble, which requires decisive action. This is often used in reference to combat situations and the action scenes in movies, but can also be used for everyday instances that one might be apprehensive about. I don't want to be here when the shit hits the fan! indicates that the speaker is dreading this moment (which can be anything from an enemy attack to confronting an angry parent or friend). He's the one to turn to when the shit hits the fan is an indication that the person being talked about is dependable and will not run from trouble or abandon their allies in tough situations. The concept of this phrase is simple enough, as the actual substance striking the rotating blades of a fan would cause a messy and unpleasant situation (much like being in the presence of a manure spreader). Whether or not this has actually happened, or if the concept is simply feasible enough for most people to imagine the result without needing it to be demonstrated, is unknown. Another example might be the saying shit rolls downhill, a metaphor suggesting that trouble for a manager may be transferred to the subordinates. There are a number of anecdotes and jokes about such situations, as the imagery of these situations is considered to be funny. This is generally tied-in with the concept that disgusting and messy substances spilled onto someone else are humorous.
    Displeasure

    Shit can comfortably stand in for the terms bad and anything in many instances (Dinner was good, but the movie was shit. You're all mad at me, but I didn't do shit!). A comparison can also be used, as in Those pants look like shit, or This stuff tastes like shit. Many usages are idiomatic. The phrase, I don't give a shit denotes indifference. I'm shit out of luck usually refers to someone who is at the end of their wits or who has no remaining viable options. That little shit shot me in the ass, suggests a mischievous or contemptuous person. Euphemisms such as crap are not used in this context.

    The term piece of shit is generally used to classify a product or service as being sufficiently below the writer's understanding of generally accepted quality standards to be of negligible and perhaps even negative value.The term piece of shit has greater precision than shit or shitty in that piece of shit identifies the low quality of a specific component or output of a process without applying a derogatory slant to the entire process. For example, if one said "The inner city youth orchestra has been a remarkably successful initiative in that it has kept young people off the streets after school and exposed them to culture and discipline, thereby improving their self esteem and future prospects. The fact that the orchestra's recent rendition of Tchaikovsky's Manfred Symphony in B minor was pretty much a piece of shit should not in any way detract from this." The substitution of shit or shitty for pretty much a piece of shit would imply irony and would therefore undermine the strength of the statement.
    Dominance

    Shit can also be used to establish superiority over another being. The most common phrase is eat shit! symbolizing the hatred toward the recipient. Some other personal word may be added such as eat my shit implying truly personal connotations. As an aside, the above is actually a contraction of the phrase eat shit and die!. It is often said without commas as a curse; they command the other party to perform exactly those actions in that order. However, the term was originally Eat, Shit, and Die naming the three most basic things humans have to do, and it is common among soldiers.[citation needed]
    Positive attitude

    Interestingly, in slang, prefixing the article the to shit gives it a completely opposite definition, meaning the best, as in Altered Beast is the shit, or The Oregon Trail is the shit. Again, other slang words of the same meaning, crap for example, are not used in such locutions.
    Shortening of bullshit

    The expression no shit? (a contraction of no bullshit?) is used in response to a statement that is extraordinary or hard to believe. Alternatively the maker of the hard-to-believe statement may add no shit to reinforce the sincerity or truthfulness of their statement, particularly in response to someone expressing disbelief at their statement. No shit is also used sarcastically in response to a statement of the obvious, as in no shit, Sherlock.

    In this form the word can also be used in phrases such as don't give me that shit or you're full of shit. The term full of shit is often used as an exclamation to charge someone who is believed to be prone to dishonesty, exaggeration or is thought to be "phoney" with an accusation. For example:

    "Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to invite you to the party, it was a complete accident... But you really didn't miss anything anyway.
    "You're full of shit! You had dozens of opportunities to invite me. If you have a problem with me, why not say it!"

    The word bullshit also denotes false or insincere discourse. (Horseshit is roughly equivalent, while chickenshit means cowardly, batshit indicates a person is crazy, and going apeshit indicates a person is entering a state of high excitement or unbridled rage.). Are you shitting me!? is a question sometimes given in response to an incredible assertion. An answer that reasserts the veracity of the claim is, I shit you not.
    Emphasis

    Perhaps the only constant connotation that shit reliably carries is that its referent holds some degree of emotional intensity for the speaker. Whether offense is taken at hearing the word varies greatly according to listener and situation, and is related to age and social class: elderly speakers and those of (or aspiring to) higher socioeconomic strata tend to use it more privately and selectively than younger and more blue-collar speakers.

    Like the word ####, shit is often used to add emphasis more than to add meaning, for example, shit! I was so shit-scared of that shithead that I shit-talked him into dropping out of the karate match! The term to shit-talk connotes bragging or exaggeration (whereas to talk shit primarily means to gossip [about someone in a damaging way] or to talk in a boastful way about things which are erroneous in nature), but in such constructions as the above, the word shit often functions as an interjection.

    Unlike the word ####, shit is not used emphatically with -ing or as an infix. For example; I lost the shitting karate match would be replaced with ...the ####ing karate match. Similarly, while in-####ing-credible is generally acceptable, in-shitting-credible is not.
    Drug usage

    Shit itself can be a dysphemism or quasi-euphemism, with many intoxicating or narcotic drugs (notably hashish and heroin) being referred to as shit. A particularly excellent drug may be described as This is some good shit. To be shitfaced is to be extremely drunk. A shitshow denotes a party or gathering during which multiple people become intoxicated to the point of incapacitation.
    The verb “to shit”

    The preterite and past participle of shit are attested as shat, shit, or shitted, depending on dialect and, sometimes, the rhythm of the sentence. In the prologue of The Canterbury Tales, shitten is used as the past participle; however this form is very rare in modern English. In American English shit as a past participle is often correct, while shat is generally acceptable and shitted is uncommon and missing from the Random House and American Heritage dictionaries.[5]
    Backronyms

    The backronym form "S.H.I.T." often figures into jokes, like Special High Intensity Training (a well-known joke used in job applications), Special Hot Interdiction Team (a mockery on SWAT), Super Hackers Invitational Tournament, and any college name that begins with an S-H (like Sam Houston Institute of Technology or South Harmon Institute of Technology in the 2006 film Accepted or Store High In Transit in the 2006 film Kenny). South Hudson Institute of Technology has sometimes been used to describe the United States Military Academy at West Point.[6] The Simpsons' Apu was a graduate student at Springfield Heights Institute of Technology.

    In polite company, sometimes the backronym Sugar Honey in Tea or Sugar Honey Iced Tea is used.
    Usage in English media
    Television

    Recently the word has become increasingly acceptable on American cable television and satellite radio, which are not subject to FCC regulation. In other English-speaking countries, such as Canada, the United Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand the word is allowed to be used in broadcast television by the regulative councils of each area, as long as it is used in late hours when young people are not expected to be watching.
    United Kingdom

    It is believed that the first person to say "shit" on British TV was John Cleese of the Monty Python comedy troupe in the late 1960s, as he, himself, says in his eulogy[7] for Graham Chapman.
    Canada

    In Canada, it is generally deemed acceptable, as CBSC states that only "coarse, offensive language intended for adults" (such as "####") are required to air after 9pm.

    The Canadian Showcase television show Trailer Park Boys frequently uses the term "shit". Trailer park supervisor James "Jim" Lahey employs many metaphors with the negative slang "shit" bizarrely worked in. For example, in one episode, Mr. Lahey likens Ricky's growing ignorance to that of a "shit tsunami", while in another episode, Mr. Lahey tells Bubbles that the "shit hawks are swooping in low" due to his deplorable behavior and company.

    The term "shit" is also used in the titles of the episodes themselves. Some of which include "The Winds of Shit,"[8] "A Shit Leopard Can't Change Its Spots,"[9] and "Never Cry Shitwolf".
    United States

    "Shit" was one of the original "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV", a comedy routine by American Comedian George Carlin. In the United States, although the use of the word is censored on broadcast network television (while its synonym crap is not usually subject to censorship), the FCC permitted some exceptions. The 14 October 1999 episode of Chicago Hope is believed to be the first show (excluding documentaries) on U.S. network television to contain the word shit in uncensored form. The word also is used in a later ER episode "On the Beach" by Dr. Mark Greene, experiencing the final stages of a deadly brain tumor. Although the episode was originally aired uncensored, the "shit" utterance has since been edited out in syndicated reruns.

    An episode of South Park, "It Hits the Fan", originally aired on 20 June 2001, was a parody of the hype over the Chicago Hope episode. "Shit" is used 162 times, and a counter in the corner of the screen tallies the repetitions. The moral of this episode is that swearing is okay occasionally, but if it is done over and over and over, it takes away from a word's impact and the word gets very, very boring. South Park airs on American cable networks, outside the regulatory jurisdiction of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), where censorship of vulgar dialogue is at the discretion of the cable operators.[10]

    American terrestrial radio stations must abide by FCC guidelines on obscenity to avoid punitive fines, unlike satellite radio. These guidelines do not define exactly what constitutes obscenity, but it has been interpreted by some commissioners as including any form of words like shit and ####, for whatever use.

    Despite this, the word has been featured in popular songs that have appeared on broadcast radio in cases where the usage of the word is not audibly clear to the casual listener, or on live television. In the song "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains, the line "Buried in my shit" was played unedited over most rock radio stations. The 1980 hit album Hi Infidelity by REO Speedwagon contained the song "Tough Guys" which had the line "she thinks they're full of shit," which was played on broadcast radio. On 3 December 1994, Green Day performed "Geek Stink Breath", on Saturday Night Live, shit was not edited from tape delay live broadcast. The band did not appear on the show again until 9 April 2005.

    Some notable instances of censorship of the word from broadcast television and radio include Steve Miller's "Jet Airliner." Although radio stations have sometimes played an unedited version containing the line "funky shit going down in the city." The songs was also released with a "radio edit" version, replacing the "funky shit" with "funky kicks". Another version of "Jet Airliner" exists in which the word "shit" is faded out. Likewise, the Bob Dylan song "Hurricane" has a line about having no idea "what kind of shit was about to go down," and has a radio edit version without the word. Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" video had the original album's use of the word censored in its video. The music video title "...On the Radio (Remember the Days)" by Nelly Furtado replaced by the original title "Shit on the Radio (Remember the Days)." This also happened to "That's That Shit" by Snoop Dogg featuring R. Kelly, which became "That's That". In Avril Lavigne's song "My Happy Ending," the Radio Disney edit of the song replaces "all the shit that you do" with "all the stuff that you do." Likewise, in the recent song "London Bridge" by the Black Eyed Peas member Fergie, the phrase "Oh Shit" is repeatedly used as a background line. A radio edit of this song replaced "Oh Shit" with "Oh Snap."
    See also

    Bullshit
    Feces
    Night soil
    Profanity
    Seven dirty words
    Shit happens

    References

    ^ "Shite". Cambridge Dictionary Online. Retrieved 22 April 2010.
    ^ Harper, Douglas. "shit". Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved 6 September 2008.
    ^ "Shit is not an acronym". Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved 31 May 2009.
    ^ Mikkelson, Barbara (8 July 2007). "Etymology of Shit". Snopes. Retrieved 31 May 2009.
    ^ "Shit". dictionary.reference.com.
    ^ "The Origin of the S-Word". About.com. Retrieved 4 December 2010.
    ^ "Graham Chapman's funeral". YouTube.
    ^ "Trailer Park Boys homepage". Retrieved 4 December 2010.
    ^ Trailer Park Boys - Complete Third Season, Alliance Atlantis, 2003 TPB III Productions. Disc 2
    ^ "South Park Libertarians". Reason Magazine.

    External links
    Look up shit in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

    Indo-European Roots: skei-
    English place names containing "shit".

    Reality is an invention of my imagination.
    ಠ_ಠ

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    Talking Never a true word spoken in jest!

    Quote Originally Posted by z1gg33 View Post
    never knew 'Strike a light' meant that.
    cheers

    have friends in the country that have matches in the loo..... always did the job as far as I'm concerned... 20+ years now.


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    Religions & Ideologies and the shit they generate !

    AGNOSTICISM What is this shit?
    ALTRUISM Want some shit?
    AMISH Shit dost occur.
    APATHISM I don't give a shit.
    ATHEISM I don't believe this shit.
    BA'HAI All shit is truly shit.
    BUDDHISM This shit happened before.
    BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM Shit happens because the Bible says so.
    CAPITALISM How much will this shit cost?
    CATHOLICISM If shit happens, I deserved it.
    CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again.
    COMMUNISM It's everybody's shit.
    CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "Shit happens."
    CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the shit that happens.
    CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to shit.
    DADISM Your mom knows her shit.
    DARWINISM We came up from shit.
    DESCARTES I shit therefore I am.
    DIANETICS Shit your way to a better life.
    DOMINICANS Belive in shit, or we'll boil you in it.
    HINDUISM There is so many forms of shit and so much it !
    ISLAM I will share my shit with you !
    JUDAISM Why does shit keep happening to me ?
    MARINES It's not just shit, it's an adventure.
    MCCARTHYISM Is that shit I smell on you ?
    MENNONITE None of this modern shit now.
    MOMISM You'll eat this shit and like it!
    MORMONISM Knock Knock - Can we interest you in our shit ?
    NARCISSISM My shit don't stink.
    NIHILISM Everything is shit.
    NIXONISM Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it.
    OBJECTIVISM Shit is Shit.
    PAGANISM Shit happens everywhere.
    PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible shits.
    PLATONISM There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
    PROTESTANTISM Let shit happen to someone else.
    RASTAFARIAN Lets smoke this shit !
    RUSSEAU Only natural shit is worth shit.
    SHINTO Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.
    SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens.
    STALINISM The state will treat you like shit.
    SURREALISM Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.
    CREATIONISM Shit happens all at once
    TAOISM The shit that happens is not the true shit.
    JEDI Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of shit.
    SIHKISM Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.
    PENTACOSTAL You need our shit, but it'll cost you !
    UNITARIANISM There's only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want.
    UTILITARIANISM Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number.
    VOODOOISM Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you
    ZEN That is the sound of shit happening?
    TELE-EVANGELISM Send More money or shit will happen to you !


    Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

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    There was a definition that SHIT meant 'Stow High in Transit'
    The story goes that when various forms of MANure (pun Intended) were being shipped by sea it tended to become dangerous in certain situations, very so in a closed ships hold.
    Now Manure/Fertilliser etc does ferment and releases gas's which if not properly vented could become explosive. So the story goes that the bags were marked S.H.I.T to denote it had to be stowed high in the hold to allow them to vent off.
    I stand unequivicably behind everything I say , I just dont ever remember saying it !!

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    If you do something wrong where I work the problem is quickly rectified by giving you some;
    Special High Intensity Training.
    Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

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    Quote Originally Posted by trash View Post
    If you do something wrong where I work the problem is quickly rectified by giving you some;
    Special High Intensity Training.
    Surely you don't swallow that CRAP?


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